2 week "think time"? Please help!
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| Sun, 10-16-2005 - 3:11pm |
bf and i went through a very traumatic month or so. alot of stress on both of our ends, which led to a ton of fighting, a ton of miscommunication, a ton of frustration. we had a long talk and he told me he loves me so much its actually emotionally painful to go through the relationship stress we have been going through. he said the emotional stress is wearing on him so much its a distraction from everything he needs to do: work, studying, etc. he told me through all of our stress he finally lost his will to make any effort which me, which makes him sad. he told me i deserve more then he is currently giving me. i told him i loved him so much and he told me he loved me so much he can't even look at my face telling me its over because he cries everytime. which he does. he told me he can't live his life by his emotions. if he did, we would stay together, but he has to think rationally which is its too hard to stay together because of the stress. i don't get it. how do you have such high emotions for someone and just end things? anyway, i am going through a divorce, though legally seperated. ex dh found out i was seeing this guy and FLIPPED OUT. he called the guy and said "don't see her for two weeks out of respect until all papers are final" (which they will be in two weeks) in the meantime ex dh has been harrassing me non stop. bf and i agreed not to see each other during this time for obvious reasons. but today ex dh did something horrible to me and i felt i needed to see bf just as a friend. bf told me he wants to stay home today, relax, sleep, get some work done. i asked him "are you not seeing me because ex dh said we shouldn't see each other for two weeks, or are you not seeing me because we broke up?" he said "come on sweetie, don't start now" i said, no, i just need to know (i really needed to see him as a friend at this point) he said "its everything together", i said, "if the real reason is because we are breaking up, just tell me because i will stop asking you to do things." he said "lets figure everything out and in two weeks we will see".
In the meantime, he calls me several times a day etc. i am so confused. i asked him if this time apart is to heal the wounds of our relationship stress and he said we will see in two weeks. what is that????

Yes, sometimes it does happen. But, right now this relationship is clearly causing you pain and confusion. That's not a hallmark of the great relationship you deserve. I believe that if you take time for yoursef now, you'll affirm how much you value yourself, and you'll be that much more ready for a wonderful relationship when it happens... whether with this guy or someone else. Keep telling yourself that you deserve a great relationship - it's true!!! Then ask yourself if this is currently a great relationship. I suspect that the answer will be no. Given that, start the healing process by taking time for yourself, so you'll be ready for the relationhsip you deserve when it comes along.
Best wishes. We're here for you!
--hurtingbutstrong