Is 2 weeks a long enough time.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Is 2 weeks a long enough time.......
5
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 5:22pm

to figure out what direction to take?

Thats about how long we've not seen each other, other than a couple of briief emails. She replied that "she misses me too" also "can we be friends" and "thats all she can do right now". Thats she's "got a lot of stuff going on in her life". Time and space....

I have a bunch of clothes still at her place and I've been pretty good about not calling her.

I dont know if there's someone else in the picture .(she said theres not) or is she using this time to truely "figure out what she wants"...
I've been trying to work, stay busy and not obsess, but wow. as a guy, I'm heartbroken.
This were good and I thought we were happy for the 6-7 months we were together.

And yes we were in love. I honestlly dont know what happened.........

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 6:26pm

Every situation is different, so that's an impossible question to answer.

However, if she is telling you that friends is all she can do for now, then that's what you need to pay attention to. If I had to guess, I think she HAS made up her mind, but she doesn't want to hurt you by telling you that (which I think is a kooky way to think but everyone's different...I personally would much rather KNOW so I try to be as upfront with people as I can). I honestly don't think that a person who truly feels they are with someone who is right for them needs "time and space"...but that's just me, and I do recognize that everyone's different.

Unless you're truly ok with being platonic friends with her without the hope of "more" (and I personally can't imagine how that's possible with someone you're in love with), then you need to move on. She may change her mind, but don't count on it. Unless there is something that honestly can't be replaced in the stuff she has, let it go. I would email her and let her know what you're doing, and ask her to contact you if and only if she decides she is 100% committed to trying to work things out with you...otherwise, you'll get in touch when you're ready to be platonic friends.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:51pm
I agree with Sheri that you need to take her words at face value. My ex (2-1/2 weeks broken up now - we were together for 3 years) told me I am the best girl that he dated and he hopes we can be friends but that I am not a priority to him. I am trying to focus only on the fact that he told me I am not a priority. The nice things mean nothing when all he is trying to tell me is that we are over. He also had my things up until this morning - and despite numerous promises to bring them over I never saw anything. This weekend I decided I could live without the items and to forget them - I wake up this morning and they are on my front porch. Can you live w/o the clothes/things that she has? If not, I would tell her you are respecting her request for time off (not friendship yet - it will be too difficult) and that you need your clothes and items from her place. For me I could not see my ex - I knew it would be too hard - so I arranged for him to drop things off while I was gone (of course, I left and he never came, but that is beside the point) so as to avoid seeing him face-to-face. I would try to move on with the knowledge that things with her may be over - and that may be for the best. It is so hard - I know! I have days where I can hardly get out of bed and days that I am hoping and looking forward to the future - I guess we can only hope for more good days - and they will come! Make sure to see good friends and stay busy - sounds like you are already doing that, which is great. Good luck!! You can get through this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:53pm
OMG I just got spammed here TWICE!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:59pm
Thanks girls. I really starting to feel its very much over. Too little for too long. Know what I mean? Good luck to you and I'll check back here and keep you posted if interested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 9:02pm
I hear you on the too little for too long - there is better out there and we deserve it. Keep posting for sure - it is good to hear how you are doing.