2.5 weeks no contact and I broke it
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2.5 weeks no contact and I broke it
| Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:40am |
I was doing so well with no contact. I didn't even want to call or e-mail him, until mid-last week, but I fought it off quite well by distracting myself. And then it was the weekend. Last night, I called and left a short "how are you, i am well" message. None of the dramatics I'd employed in the past. Predictably, no return call.
So, this morning, I sent a nice short e-mail and then another (still nice and still short). I am stopping now. I know you all say it, and I knew it at the time, but it does start the pain again.
I guess I'm confessing it here, to make it official, that I know what I've done, and I have to stop it.
Uggh!

lil_lil_kitty...
First...Pianoguy doubts that any ivillager will resort to "tie-ing you to a tree and administering 40 lashes with a whip" because you broke your CODE OF SILENCE?
But now that you realize that you WON'T get a response...can you PLEASE MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE?
If a man no longer wishes to communicate with a woman...there won't be any contact or closure. He'll JUST BE SILENT!
I'm sure this type of behavior is somewhat disconcerting when a woman EXPECTS CLOSURE or at the very least, wants some form of explanation for a break-up? Unfortunately...
Just because a woman WANTS a response from an EX...this doesn't necessarily mean she's going to GET ONE!
Pianoguy
Noone on this board is going to hate you for breaking the no contact rule but pianoguy is right in that the only way to go on with your life is to keep the no contact no matter how hard it is. Sounds like you are still in the newly stage of a break up and this is when it is the hardest time to have no contact. Do yourself a favor and delete his number from your phone, throw away his address, don't drive by his house, and delete his email address from your computer. My ex dumped me 4 months ago and it took every bit of me to not call him after the break up so I called my friend's husband instead and he was actually the one who talked me out of contacting him. Sometimes it takes a male to tell you to stop and move on. Now 4 months later, I have no desire to contact my ex and don't ever want to see or hear from him again.
Weekends are tough after a break up but the one thing I do is make plans the Monday before the weekend so by Friday, my weekend is usually full. If possible, don't stay home on the weekends unless you are doing home projects. Being by yourself too much can make you think of breaking no contact again and we ivillagers want to see you move on.
Good luck my friend and keep your head up during this difficult time. Everyone on this board knows what you are going through and we are here for support not to critize.
Hey Lil Kitty,
Don't beat yourself up over it. It's REALLY hard to do the no contact, and in fact I have broken it on many occasions, too. I figure if picking up the phone every once in a while or calling makes him run away, he is not for me.
Congrats on going 2.5 weeks, though, that is amazing!
Gal Blondie
When I get that urge to pick up the phone and tell myself its ok to call just one more time(because you can talk your way into doing it)
You can also talk your way out of not doing it.
I just stop before I dial and play in my head "ok if I make this call, I know how I am going to feel after I leave the message and he doesn't call back."
And it is a sad feeling. It is a feeling of being rejected again.
You can get through this.
Best of luck.
I am so glad someone posted this, haha, because I have done the EXACT SAME THING, and I wanted to post but felt incredibly guilty, ha.
For 2.5 weeks, I was INCREDIBLY strong, I didn't even have the urge to speak to my ex, but for some reason 14 days hit and from then until the day I contacted him, it was TERRIBLE. I constantly felt as if I wanted/needed answers from him, I was even expecting some 'I miss you's' from him, but no, in fact, it made me realise what a complete idiot he actually is, so in a way I am glad it happened, I'm learning from everything I do, and I NEED to move on now.
I wish you all the best, by the way I think he will miss you later, but you will be sooo over him!!!!
HUGS- Elana