3 Months of NC....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2007
3 Months of NC....
4
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 5:23pm

Ok so its been 3 months of NC since we broke up and I thought I’d be feeling so much better by now but I don’t. A week after breaking up my ex bf called me, actually he called me several time all in one day…(I posted about this several months ago) .. I didn’t answer the phone and he left 2 messages. The 1st message was just a general..hi how you doing, and the 2nd message was an angry message saying..ok fine don’t answer your phone, whatever. After the numerous calls that day he ended up leaving me a text message saying that “he never liked me anyway”. I did intend on calling him back I just wasn't ready that day..and once he left that text message I definintely wasn't going contact. There has been no other attempts made by him, to apologize or anything.

The relationship had been going on and off for almost 2 years. I was constantly on an emotional rollercoaster and thought I’d have peace of mind once we broke up. However, months later I’m still feeling unsettled. I guess in the end I thought he would have at least called more than just that one day a week after the breakup. I have maintained NC but feelings are still there (mostly hurt), and its hard to think that after all the time we spent together that is all the effort he gave in the end, and that I meant so little to him.

I feel like I have been doing good with the NC and refocusing on myself..reading, doing things that I enjoy. Just ever so often I start to feel bad thinking about the way he acted during the relationship and especially in the end.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 5:55pm

Three months is a great start--but for a relationship that lasted as long as yours did, it's going to take more time to feel "healed". Be patient with yourself.

One thing that can help make the process go a bit faster is to turn your thoughts around when you're thinking about him. Remind yourself that someone who would behave the way he did is clearly not right for you. That's what you're aiming for--acceptance that you're not right for each other. There's a lot of peace in acceptance--you'll realize that what your ex did (or didn't do) was just who and how he was and it has no reflection on you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 8:47pm
Three months is sooooooo good!!! You should be proud of yourself, for holding it down like that. If you read these boards, some can't make it one week, and I'm not puting them down, because people handle break ups different. Trust me, I could only do a week, back in the day, so I can't talk about anyone. But one day you will be where I am with NC. Today is my 3rd anniversary of NC. Even though it is a whole lot better than 3 years ago, I thought about him for a second yesterday. I guess because of the holiday, but today, I was back and swinging, like yesterday wasn't nothing. Where I'm going with this, is you will get over this, at your own rate and time. I believe there is no time limit, on getting over your feelings, and hurt. But remember, you will get over this, I promise. It just will take you more time. Like the previous post, 2 years with someone is a long time, and 3 months is nothing, to heal. You just keep doing what your doing, and count your 3 months as a blessing in diguise. You don't see it now, but it really is blessing, that your not in contact. It only prolongs the pain and moving on. Just keep it up, and keep your head up. Your doing good, and one day, this will all be a memorable experience, one you will never forget. Your heartbreak, will compell you to be a better person, and a better girlfriend to the new guy in your life. Just wait and see!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:10am

You are to be commended for being strong and having NC. Believe me when I say that no contact is better than receiving texts, e-mails, letters or phone calls that do nothing more than toy with your emotions. Each time that I feel I am making progess in moving past our 5 years, he contacts me and sends me right back to square one in emotional healing. There is no set time frame for recovery. 2 years is a long time and while 3 months of NC seems like an eternity, it is slow but steady movement towards moving past this. I wish you all the luck in the world...hang in there!!

Connie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 4:46pm

To everyone that posted...

THANK YOU..so much. Your words were both kind and well needed. It has been hard at times but to this day I am so glad that I have maintained NC. I have more of a feeling of control over my actions, and knowing that I am stronger than I thought I was initially. Hang in there too, we are all stronger than we know and "this too shall pass".