4 Months NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
4 Months NC
8
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 10:38am

I posted here (after the end of my 2 year relationship) when I hit my 2 months, when I was still in pretty bad shape, and wrote that I hoped to be in a different place after another 2 months. I am.


NC is the only way to go. Looking back I am just sorry it took me 3 tries to finally master it, because each time I messed up and broke it I only felt worse because it was clear my ex was only humoring me and didn't truly want to be in touch, and probably ruined any chances of us getting back together. Each time I contacted, I could almost hear him cringe. So ladies, dont do it!


I also found that it took about 3 months of NC for me to stop crying and journaling on a daily basis. Thats another thing - dont listen to people who tell you to "get over it" and "just stop thinking about him and move on."

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 12:10pm

Glad to hear that you are doing better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 9:54pm

Hi waterworks2007,


I'm bumping up your story so others can read something inspiring.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 8:52am

It was very helpful for me to read your email.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2007
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 9:43am

Hi Waterworks,


Thank you so much for posting this message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 4:10pm

******APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE********


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 6:11pm
Oh no! I was just about to type something here and then my ex messaged me on AIM. He say "hey, how are you" and I said I was doing good (to pretend that I'm strong and doing good without him even though I'm really not) and he said he was good too. That was all that was said. That definitely broke the NC but I'm glad for once he went out of his way to contact me, even if it was just that. Ever since I discovered this board a few days ago, all I have been doing is reading just about everybody's posts and it truly does help. It's not what I want to hear, but it's REAL. I really have to try and move on, but I still go on his myspace page all the time. I won't delete him b/c he's still my best friend, but I'm trying to be strong. I cry everyday and think about him every few minutes. It's been a month already. I tried everything from begging him back and trying to remind him of the good times, but he said he was positive he was never coming back because he's not into it anymore. I don't think I'll ever find anybody like him because I never found anything wrong with him (other than the fact that he doesn't want to be with me all of a sudden after over two years), but for some reason I still want him in my life. I still need to see him even though it hurts. We haven't made plans to hang out anytime soon, but I hope one day it will feel great to see him. Right now it just feels like a knife in my stomach and everytime I think about him, it's just turning the knife that's already been stabbed. Knowing me, I know it will take a long time to try and move on and even then I won't ever forget him. He's planning on moving to San Fran soon and that will hurt the most, and I will feel a big rejection then as well. It's just so hard. I truly believe that the worst suffering a human being can go through is exactly this: heartbreak. :( But all of you give me so much hope. I don't even want to think about meeting anybody new, lately I just enjoy reading all of your posts knowing that I'm not alone in this world. I appreciate each and every one of your posts. Thank you so much! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 6:54pm

Neko,


HANG IN THERE!!! I know exactly how you feel about the instant messages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:03pm
Thank you so much Pinky, I don't have a strong support system either. I'm on the messageboard more than I should be. It's going to kill me when he finally moves, I wish he wouldn't. I still have a this small hope that he will miss me and come back, but I know for sure that he won't. It's just not what he wants at all. It really came out of nowhere, and I will never forget him. It was probably the best two years of my life, and now it's gone, and I don't that many people to turn to, so it's nice to get a response from strangers online that are going through the same thing. I know it will take me along time to move on especially since I have to wait for the day when he finally moves, I will experience this all over again. Through all this pain, I am still glad that I met him. I've learned a lot about myself, but I also know that I'd take him back any day. It's so sad, but I would. I'm not too good at focusing on anything these days, but it's making me stronger each day. I will probably respond to him if he messages me again, but I will keep it short and make sure he knows that I can survive without him. I'm tired of looking like a fool. But I'm glad i still gave it a try in the end, I've done all i could. I'm so thankful for all you for sharing your experiences, I can't believe how much it has helped me. :)