4 Yrs. Later He Calls! Advice Anyone?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-20-2007 - 12:00am |
Short form:
We broke up in 2003. One of his old gf's came back into town. He swore that nothing ever happened but he conveniently broke up with me the day he picked her up at the airport. Devastated, I moved 3000 miles away, came back six months later. I never called him but, I would always get "Private Name" phone calls in the early hours of the morning. Hang ups of course. Christmas 2005 he calls to "check in". He acted like we could catch up on old times, like nothing happened. I told him that it felt weird, wished him well and hung up. He would never swallow his pride again for sure, I thought.
This past Tuesday, I could have sworn I saw him driving past my new residence. I shrugged it off but, on Wednesday my mother calls to say that he left a message on her answering machine on Sunday night. He said that he had been thinking about me this past week and just wanted to talk and if I didn't return his call then he would understand.
Here I sit, knowing that I've thought of this guy every day for four years. I have forgiven him but, I can't even begin to think of how the past could be erased somehow. I couldn't be friends with this guy either. He will never admit to the circumstances surrounding our break-up and because of that I could never trust him. I would feel so ashamed of myself just to allow him back into my life without an admission.
I have been on two dates in the past four years...TWO! I'm completely disenchanted.
My ex crushed me and I could never go through all of that again and yet, he's always been there in my heart.
A. Take a chance and hope that he's grown/changed?
B. Leave things as they are because they can't be fixed?
Has this ever happened to any of you??
Advice Please!
Thank-you

Pages
He's calling my mother's house because he's trying to save face. This guy is so full of pride that he wouldn't want to say that he looked me up in the phone book and got my new number and address. He couldn't show that he put much effort into contacting me. Eventhough, I know I saw him driving past my house on Tuesday. He knows I've moved, he knows I don't live at my parents anymore and yet, he wants to play games.
Keep moving on. He's just calling for his own ego to see if you still carry a torch for him--don't give him the satisfaction.
Are you seeing a counselor? Four years is a lot of time to still be hung up on him. I finally started seeing one about 2 years into the breakup of my last LTR and I wish I'd gone a lot sooner!
Sheri
If he's still calling me four years later then, isn't he still hung up on me too? Is the fact that we both still think of each other a sign? Unfinished emotions or thoughts? I can't figure it out. Other boyfriends were quickly forgotten and yet this one still lingers.
This morning I thought "Screw him" but now I'm wondering "What if"?
I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Thank-you
No, that's not necessarily the case at all. In fact, I'd say it's much more likely a case of curiosity/ego.
I don't know? I'm torn. Could talking to him repair some of the old hurt? Make me understand what happened back then? Or could taking to him finally put an end to it all? No more thoughts or questions, finally over and done with?
Last year, a guy that I used to date (before the ex), came overseas to visit me. We hadn't seen each other for four years but remained friends. Anyways, when I picked him up from the airport I immediately wondered what I could have ever saw in him romantically. It was like a huge door slammed shut on any possibilty of rekindling anything. I wasn't even attracted to him in the least, which was the complete opposite of how I felt about him way back when. I was actually happy that it never worked out between us. Thank God.
Maybe I'm hoping for the same reaction to the ex, lol?
Thanks for replying :)
Pages