5 weeks & still sad
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5 weeks & still sad
| Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:33pm |
I thought by now the pain would have eased up.I am doing all the right things,going to therapy,reading & RE-reading all the break up survival books,writing letters,unsent.I am a grown woman,38 years old.I feel like i'm back to being a child.I have this pain that just won't leave me.he has not tried to contact me ,which i guess is good.I think sometimes If he did ever call,what is there to say? Nothing,just nothing.I still don't "get" how after living with someone ,for 2 years,sharing everything with that person,He can just walk away.My Therapist says i need to make my own closure.I know in my heart of hearts I will survive this.Valentine's day commercials,News stories about roses ,just make me lose it.like they are mocking me.I will try to avoid everything Valentine's tommorrow.Thank God it's only 1 day of the year.My Friends & family don't understand my pain.The Therapist explains that they weren't in love with him,so they really don't.He also agrees that what was done to me was very unfair.Sorry to go on & on,This board is sometimes i feel all i have to get it all out.At least i know there are folks out there ,who KNOW,exactly how i feel ,Unlike all the unsent letters i have written to him,that someone will read this.Wow! Nothing like having your whole world turned upside down & spinning the wrong way.Does it ever end? Thanks for reading this .I wish Peace to you all.

hey crushed heart,
just wantto say i hear you. i just completed 3m onths. didn't even realise it. but i'm meditatimg every morning. to "control" my mind. the way i ee it is - thoughte bring sadness. ij ust haveto control my mind from NOT thinking of him. its sheer will power and concentration. kind of like studying.
there is something calle dthe "thought stopping" technique that really helps. i don't talk about this to anyone either. friends just don't get it. most people have their own lives. so when i feel a weak moment, or a thoughtthat's been bugging the hell out of me - i'm here on the board. most times i'm strong. look and seem happy. am happy. but the weak moments are oh so weak. i'm proud though that i have completely blocked him from my life. in every which way. his 3 attempts to get in touch i have denied. i'm free now. and from here it's only uphill..
you are right. even if they call - really what's left to say? something unfair was done to me too. other than a sorry from him ( which will never come - unless of ocurse he is oh so lonely with no one else around ) a really sincere apology, there is NOTHING to say. it's over. whenever you think of him, think of YOU. focus on YOURSELF. find a new you. good luck. be strong. women are stronger than men anyway.
Hi crushedheart,
So sorry you have to go through this. I can totally relate, I am in my 4th month now and I still shed tears, love songs make me cry and this valentine's day totally sucks! I have written unsent letters, they say try be angry at that person..and I just can't.
Here are some things I am doing..they just help momentarily but still something so we dont sink deep into some depression. I am doing therapy too and I was told that I need to put the focus on myself and not fall for these emotionally unavailable men. Concentrate on making your life good, connect with friends and family, I joined a gym and I like that hour or so diversion, and I am starting to really concentrate on work, so it keeps me busy. But there are moments that I feel like sharing something and I think of him, and then I am like - what's the point really. They are gone, they have stopped thinking of us, so why should we give them the power and be hurt.
I know I didn't say too much that was any different from what you are doing. Just getting to this board and writing and responding to other similar folks, thinking positive and hopefully encouraging someone else , has a rippling effect on me too.
Good luck to you!
Just want to let you know there's someone on the other side of the world who hears you. I feel what you say. Mine has been three weeks. Everything you wrote - i feel - but i also know something else. What feels like a curse now... will be our blessing when we meet someone who knows how to open their hearts and love us unconditionally.
Hang in there.
With Love, Coco xoxo