5 years and 2 months, engaged, now gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2011
5 years and 2 months, engaged, now gone
5
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 4:23pm

I was with someone (the love of my life) for 5 years and 2 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 9:48pm

I know a couple with a past similar to your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2011
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 1:56pm
Yea it happens and I'm just at the point now where I don't know what to do. Wondering if we'll ever get back together and it's driving me crazy because I want us to work this out despite the pain we have both caused. I love him so much. He's a great man! :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 3:33pm

I'm sure he's a great guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 4:09am

Two mature individuals that truly love each other do NOT play that kind of game.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 9:32am

Sorry but I agree that you can't continue in a relationship that is based on "you did that so I get to do this". It's a blame game that never ends. Neither of you were perfect to one another, and there is no justification for what either of you did. You apparently lied to him about some "very bad things" that he didn't find out about until recently - are you really surprised he's gone? Who cares what he did after that, crying to him and pouring your heart out to him doesn't undo what you did (whatever it was). Your relationship is over. Consider this a difficult lesson in honesty and trust. He may really want to be with you but that is a fantasy, because apparently you are not the girl he thought you were. It's extremely difficult to find out that the person you thought you knew is capable of terrible things. I kind of sympathize with him there. But I would listen to the other half of yourself that's telling you to move on - Once a relationship is this tainted, it is impossible to undo all of the hurt and there is no way you can move on without resent. Resent is the worst destroyer of relationships, and you have it in spades. He's in the process of moving on but he's not admitting it.

I suggest you let him go.