6 mts- Too long to be completely healed?
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| Wed, 01-17-2007 - 4:20pm |
The hurt just comes in around and around and each time I think I am healing and over it, something will happen to set me back.
I broke up with my ex because I was a bit of a rebound girlfriend and he was not ready to be in a relationship.. but I still cared for him alot. He was my first real relationship so I've been quite naive. We broke up end of last June and I was feeling a lot better by August.. In September we started school again together (Same program with all the same classes, all the same friends) I made a point to keep my distance from him, but when I found out he started seeing another girl, I COMPLETELY BROKE DOWN. All my "healing" faded to nothing and I had to start the whole process again. Why would he lie to me and why wouldn't he come back to me if he was ready to be in a relationship when he told me nothing was wrong with our relationship?.. I cut him more and more out of my life but he would always be upset if I ignored him and I would always go back to giving a "friendship" a try. I realize it hurts me more to be his friend and to know he's with someone else.. I still think about him quite alot. It feels like for as long as I have to see him each day of my life, he will not be out of my mind until I find someone else to "replace" his spot in my thoughts. It's not that I expect us to get back together but he is a constant reminder of a "failure" and how lonely I feel without him and makes me miss the happiness we had together. I have many friends here at college but everyone has "someone" so it just makes me feel even more alone.
Is 6 mts too long to be taking to heal? I am upset that he still has some control over my emotions. I think it's mostly when I'm feeling lonely that hang on to him and try to "be friends". Does anyone else have these feelings?

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Ok, wait, just because he started seeing someone else, does NOT mean he's ready to be in a committed relationship. Put that thought out of your head. It could mean he's just dating, getting to know someone new or is lonely, wants company and/or sex. And you aren't a failure because he didn't want to be in a relationship with you.
6 Months is not too long especially if you have had any contact with him during that time - like him pushing for 'friendship' and you giving in.
Hang in there, it does get easier.
Carrie
yap on my situation...9mths now imagine that!!!!...lol
well yah ofcourse sometimes we think that we already move on and oneday if we findout that their dating someone new...(back on day one again!!!) right?? worst part is if the reason of the broke up is "they dont have time for us"...and onething you know they do have time for their new prospect... :(
your ex sound just like my ex too...i just wish we didnt date the same person..lol
my ex too he just got in a divorce and after we broke up..i find out that the exwife is pregnant with the man that she chose(cheated) over him. now i was thinking maybe he felt so desperate and wants to put everything out to our relationship... but he told me thats not the main reason...yah right!!!
my initial is R.F....what about yours??? i'm just curious?????
ha okay...i guess their not the same person...lol
anyways it just proven that all guys are same @*@%. what do you think??? actually some of them(they might get mad at me if i say all of them!!!)lol
Is there anyway you can not see him or know what he is doing or who he is with? I think that is what is holding you back with the healing process. My ex dumped me 7 months ago and I was deeply in love with him and devastated when he literally ran without telling me why. The one thing that has helped so much is to not have any contact with him and not see him, I haven't been within 5 miles of his house, I threw away everything he had given me and I have broken contact with his friends that are also my friends because I don't want to hear what he is doing.
You might want to start taking the same steps. I guarantee it will help you heal and move on. My heart is still healing and I am still not ready to date even though I feel I am at times. By not having any contact with your ex what so ever, you will also get emotionally stronger and that is the key to moving on.
I wish you the best and the answer to your question is "no", 6 months is not too long but you don't want to prolong your pain by having contact.
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