6 mts- Too long to be completely healed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
6 mts- Too long to be completely healed?
11
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 4:20pm

The hurt just comes in around and around and each time I think I am healing and over it, something will happen to set me back.

I broke up with my ex because I was a bit of a rebound girlfriend and he was not ready to be in a relationship.. but I still cared for him alot. He was my first real relationship so I've been quite naive. We broke up end of last June and I was feeling a lot better by August.. In September we started school again together (Same program with all the same classes, all the same friends) I made a point to keep my distance from him, but when I found out he started seeing another girl, I COMPLETELY BROKE DOWN. All my "healing" faded to nothing and I had to start the whole process again. Why would he lie to me and why wouldn't he come back to me if he was ready to be in a relationship when he told me nothing was wrong with our relationship?.. I cut him more and more out of my life but he would always be upset if I ignored him and I would always go back to giving a "friendship" a try. I realize it hurts me more to be his friend and to know he's with someone else.. I still think about him quite alot. It feels like for as long as I have to see him each day of my life, he will not be out of my mind until I find someone else to "replace" his spot in my thoughts. It's not that I expect us to get back together but he is a constant reminder of a "failure" and how lonely I feel without him and makes me miss the happiness we had together. I have many friends here at college but everyone has "someone" so it just makes me feel even more alone.

Is 6 mts too long to be taking to heal? I am upset that he still has some control over my emotions. I think it's mostly when I'm feeling lonely that hang on to him and try to "be friends". Does anyone else have these feelings?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2007
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 2:13am
I understand what you're going through. I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. I can't get over him, can't stop thinking about him, what he's doing, who he's with... I mean it's crazy. We didn't really officially break up... but I guess in we might as well have. He said he wanted to take a break. A.K.A: I want out. His reasons were that we didn't get to see each other often outside of school and he just didn't think that we we're happy together. Of course, he failed to shed light upon the fact that the reason I wasn't very "happy" at this time was that he was all over other girls- I mean ALL over them. Right in front of me! You know, he could at least have had the decency to do it behind my back... I kind of assumed that he didn't want to be with me anymore. But then, he's like, I really like you, let's take a break and see what happens. I just don't even know what i'm going to do.. so yeah, its been like three months now and im still in love with him. i cant see myself with anyone else. you know, its pathetic though.. i basically havent talked to him since then, im trying my hardest to get over him.. i dont know what to do. i hate bothering my friends about it, i know i annoy them, so ive had no one to vent to. i just wish i knew how he felt. its sooooo hard though, i see him everyday in classes... i wish i could just really tell him how i feel. i wish i could have spoken out before when he told me that he wanted to take a break..... i feel like i just let him slip through my fingers. i think, i hope so at least, that he still feels something for me. what do i do? does anyone have any advice????? please, i am in desperate need of some. my life has basically ended since we broke up...

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