6 weeks and he has a new gf!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
6 weeks and he has a new gf!
4
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:43am

I was doing really well until I found out he was doing BETTER! He has a new girlfriend! Our last contact was AUgust 1st...he emailed saying he sitll loved me and wanted to marry me...just needed this "time to think." His whole argument was he didn't want to base decisions solely on feelings--and that is exactly what he is doing! He is moving on to someone else! I can't even believe it! I am reeling. So many thought processes now that make everything he did to romance me seem SO fake! After 2 years of him telling me he wantd to marry me, now he will tell HER that! I was the one who said no to dragging it out, and it's like his revenge. Yet, he is "extradordinarily happy"...AHHH, I feel so sick! How do you stop torturing yourself over this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 1:39am

Say to yourself he is a dumb a@@ for losing a girl like you. I am sure it is very painful and heart breaking to learn that someone you trusted is a lair. All I can say is I am sorry you are going through this.

Just be strong. and Erase all physical contacts from him. Try to put your daily plans packed with stuffs and do anything for you to move on.

There was a moment in my life similar to your situation, and every time when I used to think about that certain someone from my past, I laugh at them for being a dumba$$ to let go of a girl like me. It may sounds vain or stupid, It worked for me.

I know this wasn't much help, but I hope its a lil bit help to you.

ukia

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 7:59am
THanks for the encouragement. You are SO right-- I know I am better than he deserves (so is the new girl, probably)... he misled me and was fake. I don't even WANT him...I want someone so much better.. but I also hate him being happy with someone new and his dishonesty in not even admitting he was moving on..acting as if he was still mine right up until now. I should be the one happily moving on-- HE was the one wanting to marry ME! Irony.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:53am

You are welcome! and I am glad you can see the situation in clear light. If you need someone to listen, you can talk to me.

good luck,

ukia

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 3:01pm

Welcome to the board meaqui,


Consider this posted ages ago by Pinky:


Think of your relationship like a big house that has been demolished. What do you do next? You can't live in the house any more! So you decide to clear up the mess (emotion), brick by brick, it takes a bit of time, but you liked living in that big house so you guess it's worth the effort. Then there's a big hole in the ground that needs to be filled up again. You start this process by making new friends who are happy to help you rebuild your new big house, so it's bigger and better than it was before.


Your ex has decided that he's going to build on top of all the rubble (denial), he/she can't be bothered to take time out to clear up all the mess. So off he/she goes, building on top of the old house. He/She acknowledges that the structure is a little wobbly but he/she says that it will do for him right now.


The storm hits. Guess whose house is still standing?


Your house is built on a solid foundation. His/Her house is a big fake "paper house", yours a big strong stone structure. Now tell me who's going to have the better future? It's up to you to decide.





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