Addicted to sex
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Addicted to sex
| Sat, 07-14-2007 - 1:17pm |
Hi all,
I am having such a hard time with this and was hoping for some feedback. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me last night. I've been having issues with him since our relationship began, namely that he doesn't want to do anything with me besides have sex. He won't go out with me, he's never met my parents, and he only calls me maybe twice a month. I know, why I've stayed with him is beyond me. We also work together, which is where we met.
Anyway, I had to visit the emergency room the other day, and called him that night looking for support. He didn't want to come over! Of course, he never wants to come to my house, I always go to his. Well, I let him have it, saying he cared more about sex than me, and I think I guilt-tripped him into visiting. But last night I called him, we had a nice conversation, and then he started with how much he wants to see me with another girl or guy, like a threesome. He's always mentioned wanted us to "expand our horizons" and I always just thought it was a typical male fantasy. I never took it seriously. I told him so last night in what I thought was our typical joking manner. Out of the blue he says, very matter-of-fact, "well, then good luck in the future and I hope you find someone who makes you happy." I thought he was joking! I mean, we didn't have a fight, a discussion, nothing led up to this bombshell. He wasn't. As if it didn't bother him at all, he told me that he has needs, and if I can't fill them, he'll look somewhere else. This after he's told me time and time again that he loves me, that he's obssessed with me, that he can't imagine his life without me in it. What the hell happened? I just don't get this. One day he tells me he loves me and the next he tells me good luck and it's over? Just because I won't allow a third person into our bed? Am I wrong on this or is he a complete jackass? Plus, how do I deal with this at work? We're both teachers so thank god I don't have to see him until September, but a good friend of mine is his tenant and she works with us too. I just don't know what to do. I have to be honest, I'm not as broken up as I should be, because I've known for a long time that a man who doesn't want to do things with you really isn't worth it, but it's just really hard to think about starting over. And I could deal with this alot better if I didn't have to face him at work. Any thoughts guys?
I am having such a hard time with this and was hoping for some feedback. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me last night. I've been having issues with him since our relationship began, namely that he doesn't want to do anything with me besides have sex. He won't go out with me, he's never met my parents, and he only calls me maybe twice a month. I know, why I've stayed with him is beyond me. We also work together, which is where we met.
Anyway, I had to visit the emergency room the other day, and called him that night looking for support. He didn't want to come over! Of course, he never wants to come to my house, I always go to his. Well, I let him have it, saying he cared more about sex than me, and I think I guilt-tripped him into visiting. But last night I called him, we had a nice conversation, and then he started with how much he wants to see me with another girl or guy, like a threesome. He's always mentioned wanted us to "expand our horizons" and I always just thought it was a typical male fantasy. I never took it seriously. I told him so last night in what I thought was our typical joking manner. Out of the blue he says, very matter-of-fact, "well, then good luck in the future and I hope you find someone who makes you happy." I thought he was joking! I mean, we didn't have a fight, a discussion, nothing led up to this bombshell. He wasn't. As if it didn't bother him at all, he told me that he has needs, and if I can't fill them, he'll look somewhere else. This after he's told me time and time again that he loves me, that he's obssessed with me, that he can't imagine his life without me in it. What the hell happened? I just don't get this. One day he tells me he loves me and the next he tells me good luck and it's over? Just because I won't allow a third person into our bed? Am I wrong on this or is he a complete jackass? Plus, how do I deal with this at work? We're both teachers so thank god I don't have to see him until September, but a good friend of mine is his tenant and she works with us too. I just don't know what to do. I have to be honest, I'm not as broken up as I should be, because I've known for a long time that a man who doesn't want to do things with you really isn't worth it, but it's just really hard to think about starting over. And I could deal with this alot better if I didn't have to face him at work. Any thoughts guys?
Signatures On
| Sat, 07-14-2007 - 8:12pm |
....i am confused....he is a guy who only want his time with u is sex???he wouldnt take u out do things like normal couples do....he is more like a F"""" buddy ..and u call him ur bf for 3 years......drop him imediately!!..u deserve someone who treats u well...and please.please....i have issues with people who get involved with coworkers..they are off limits...dont eat where u sh:::T..good luck and u have to tell urself u worth more!
| Sun, 07-15-2007 - 12:32am |
If you guys only really got together for sex, then it seems like you've been playing the booty call for 3 years. I don't know how you made it that long, I would've been going crazy after 3 months! My best advice is starting looking for someone else. I know it will be weird for you at work, but that'll pass in time, especially when you start seeing someone who actually cares about you. Best of luck!!
| Sun, 07-15-2007 - 12:51pm |
You need to leave him alone, he's not worth your time anymore. You have wasted 3 years, and by reading your story, it has clearly been a waste. Try to move on. He doesn't really care about you, just wants sex, and you know that. Until you find out your worth more, you will continue with these meaningless relationship. I'm so sorry if I'm harsh, it's not my intentions to be harsh or hurt anyone feelings. But, sometimes the truth hurts, and I learned that. Move on, and this summer break, should help you clear up what you need to do. He will try and come back, you need to prepared. Do you want to continue with someone, who can't spend any quality time with you? You deserve better...
| Sun, 07-15-2007 - 6:15pm |
Wow, I went through the same thing with a teacher for about 16 months. He would take me out now & then but mostly, we just hung out at my place. We were apart for 5 months at one point, but I cried about him every day and I just couldn't let go. I called him after the holidays to tell him how I really felt and we started dating again. Well, you know how they say watch out what you wish for? The last 6 months have been hell since I started dating him again. He messed with my head and my emotions more than you could imagine and had me in tears most of the time. He could be really nice too, but I was miserable. I hung on & hung on until 2 weeks ago when he dumped me over a text message. I've got to say, I'm completely over him and I don't know why I would let myself go through that in the 1st place. He crushed my self-worth when I was with him and now I haven't been this happy in a really long time. It does get better! Once you realize you are better than that, you will ask yourself what you ever saw in him.
