addictive vs healty love
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| Mon, 07-25-2005 - 3:32pm |
My friend gave me that. I found it very helpful to sort things out. Check it out for yourself and see what kind of relationship you were in.
Addictive vs healty
1) Often all-consuming vs allows for individuality
2) Boundary problems vs oneness and separateness experienced
3) sado-masochistic vs values and respects self and other
4) fear of letting go vs accepting endings
5) fear of risk, change, unknown vs open to change and exploration
6) stagnation vs invites growth
7) lack of intimacy vs high level of intimacy
8) drama to get needs met vs freedom to ask and receive directly
9) giving is to get vs giving and receiving experienced as the same
10) attempt to change other vs accepting of self and others
11) need other to feel complete vs self sufficient
12) seeks solution outside self vs accepting of personal reality and limitations
13) demands and expects unconditional love vs no longer seeks unconditional love
14) often is anti-dependent and refuses commitment vs interdependent and accepting of commutment
15) looks to others for affirmation and worth vs sense of self-esteem and well being
16) fears abandonment upon routine separation vs trusts memory of loved one and enjoys aloneness
17) repetitious feelings - emptiness, rage, guilt, etc. vs spontaneous expression of feelings
18) wants and fears closeness vs welcomes need to belong, risks vulnerability
19) takes car of other's feelings vs caring detachment
20)power plays vs affirms personal power of self and other as equals
