I would text him all the time whenever I wanted to, I called him numerous times a day, he NEVER responded. It was like I didn't get it, I was kind of being needy and desperate but I thought it was okay. I justified and told myself that I would do ANYTHING to have him back. Love can make you do crazy things. After three weeks, i finally talked to him on the phone and told me that he would NEVER come back and that he was moving next year to pursue his music career. Our plans were to move together, but now i'm stuck here. I stopped texting him and I feel so much better, but also worse! I just want to hear his voice and make him remember me. Sometimes I get confused that if I don't contact him, he'll forget about me and move on. But I've already done all the contacting I could, and it wasn't enough. The only thing left for me to do is just not contact him and let him miss me. Maybe I haven't given him the space he wants. He instant message me yesterday, so that broke the no contact rule, but I just said "hi im doing good" and he said the same and that was it. I dont want to look too deep into it, he's NOT coming back. Even though I am positive he doesn't want me back, I still have that hope always which is slowing down my healing process. I just keep thinking he loved me so much before, he wouldn't just give up. But he did. :( I hate my life so much right now. I hardly sleep and lost a few pounds. Even if I'm with some ppl or at school or work or volunteer, I'm just miserable and people see it. I tend to wear my emotions and it's making my life crazy. I don't have too many ppl to turn to so I come here. I can't even think about meeting anything else, he was perfect for me but he said he was too young and didn't want to be tied down. I just don't get all this, we were so in love. but that's everybody's story here, why should I think mine is unique. that's just what i want to think i suppose. i want him to miss the hell out of me. one thing i learned is, guys, just like my ex, may miss their ex gf's but will probably never act on it and just stick to their decision. That's how my ex is at least, he can cope with that and I can already see from his pics on myspace and comments that he's moving on. :( AHHHHH!
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