advice needed again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
advice needed again
14
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 12:22am

its me again. want some quick info, advice, opinion, whatever on what you guys all think. i saw my ex yesterday by chance when i went to drop off a thank you card for her roommate. the card was to say that i appreciated having her allow me to stay all that time at their place. but my ex opened the door instead. a bit surprising for both of us but we talked for a bit. nothing bad happened. just a bit awkward of course.

so the question is that i miss her like hell. she knows that and before i left, i did tell her that i do love her. she had a smile and then i left. i should have stayed a few seconds more to say the rest of what i wanted to say but she was getting ready for work, and i did not want to bombard her since she also just got back from a vacation.

i am with the military and nowadays, no one knows whos going where so i want to take the chance to call her, get a cup of coffee, and do what i have to do. is that the right approach now? she wants to be single but i think thats just b/c i think i said too much during the few months we were dating.

typically, i would have moved on but i cant this time. i am in love and she knows it by now.

do i wait or make the move to call her and go from there?

thanks guys

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:56pm

hi bigvic316

how long you guys been dating? for my own opinion being persistent will lead you to her(make that move before its too late)...unless there's A third party involved and your not aware. THAT'S THE BIG PROBLEM

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 3:49pm

hi
thanks for the advice. something that i needed to hear. i agree with you that i have to at least try, or try harder to see what i can do. otherwise i will be like every guy out there who gives up.

we've dated only since jan of this year. its short i know but something about her caught me and i cant let go. i saw her this sun by accident but i dont know what else she is thinking besides saying she is not ready for a relationship.

i dont want that. i just want to be with her.

i called and left her a message last night and i will see if she will call back.

i dont think there is someone else. if there was, she would have said it by now. but i will ask her that too. she wanted sometime alone i guess so she got it. now its my turn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 5:10pm

hi bigvic316

i'm so proud of you for being soo persistent..you are a real MAN!! real man dont give up...at this day's.. its hard to look for a man like you.

she need to see this and treasure you...YOUR A ONE IN A MILLION YOU!!!

KEEP US POSTED LET AS KNOW WHATS GOING ON...WE'RE HERE TO LISTEN!!

GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 5:37pm

thank you for your support. i have always listened to everyone telling me to move on, etc. this time i am not.

i will let u know what happens. she's the one for me. and i got to go get her

thanks again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 6:15pm

hi bigvic316

GO TIGER GO GET HER!!! MORE POWER TO YOU AND I REALLY DO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:38am

hi
thanks so much for your support! i need it. i called her today again and again got her voice message only. left a simple message saying that i was waiting for her to call me back and that i would like to see her since i have not seen her much since she got back from vacation.

so what am i going to do? keep calling till she answers or make another surprise trip again to see her and tell her of why i love her and why i am in love with her?

i cant seem to do anything productive w/o her. i guess you can call that love.

i will let you know if she calls.

thanks again for believing in me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 1:03pm

hi bigvic316

how's everything going tiger?...thats good keep it up...well that exc what my exbf did to be when his just starting courting me. i never answer his phone calls, his tex's and his message. until oneday i feel so bad that his being so persistent, nice, and kind to me and esp TO my son...so i told my self why not?...give it a shot...at the beginning of the relationship everything when so find..well to be honest i'm a very insecure person...so i guess lately i been choking him without me knowing. well i guess thats also the reason that's why his feeling faded. so we broke up.

his just like you tiger his so very persistent...imagine he used to like me way back 1998..but he cannot make a move coz his committed and i do too. so until oneday he saw me once again...and never let go of me...well i felt inlove right away. but as soon as i feel that love for him and him i dont know what went wrong.

well at your situation there's notihng to lose if you keep on trying. bY the way REAL MAN never give up.

if i were you go to her place bring some flowers. pretend that your SOO worried coz she never answer your phone calls and you want to know her situation..WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OKAY GOOD LUCK DONT FORGET TO UPDATE US.....

BY ANY CHANCE ARE YOU CATHOLIC..COZ MY FRIEND SEND ME THIS NOVENA...ACTUALLY IS A GOOD LUCK CHARM..YOU MAKE A WISH AND READ THAT NOVENA...AND YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE..A LOT OF PEOPLE TRIED IT THEY SAY ITS TRUE...I JUST MAKE A WISH TODAY...AND IT SAID THERE WAIT FOR FOUR DAYS. IF EVER YOUR INTERESTED LET ME KNOW.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 1:26pm

hello there

thanks for the follow up. so here is what i have so far. i called her on Tues and Wed. left her 2 messages. then last night i emailed her and said "hi, not heard from you, whats going on? etc..." she emailed back this morning and said she has been very busy with work and summer school. she got back from vacation and needs the extra money so she has been woroking extra hours, as she says. its an excuse but i believe her. if she did not want to hear from me, she could have said so you know? but thats not it from what i read in the email and what she said when i saw her last sunday.

so i emailed her back and said i understand and that i will wait for her until she finishes summer school in 5 wks. i have summer school too but this does not mean i am not going to be persistent. i am not going to let her forget about me. we both started fast and i know i pushed it too hard and she may not have been ready for something like that. so now i have to give her some space to do her own things but i agree with you that i have to remind her that i love her and that she is not getting rid me. i probably will not drop by to bring flowers yet...too soon and she already said she is busy so i dont want to make things more complicated at the moment. maybe a few days later or at least a week then i will see if she calls or emails, etc. if nothing, then i can try that...something simple right?

i am not religious but anything you can do to help me, i will take. maybe it will help me too. i am happy to hear that you got your man back. good for you and him. now its my turn to hopefully get some good luck and be able to come back to her

i will be in touch if i hear something from her.

thanks again for your support. i need everything i can get!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 4:59pm

hi bigvic316

well thats a good sign atleast she not totally ignoring you right?..well okay if you ever want that novena email me at jhailla@yahoo.com coz i need to forward it to your email address.

by the way nope you miss understood me. me and my exbf havent get back yet. we talk once in a while..but i dont know what his plan...coz this guy has too much PRIDE.

LIKE YOU MENTION YOU COULD SEE IT FROM THEM(THEIR FEELINGS)...BUT FOR SOME REASON THEY ARE HOLDING IT. RIGHT?

maybe he wants me to ask him back...but i dont want to do that...we supposed to meet last weekend coz i need to return the sunglasses that i gave him on valentine's day. at the store coz he accidentally sit on it. so the store could replace or fix it. but he didnt make it coz his busy working and its father's day weekend so he went out with his kids.

well i told him he could just take it himself..coz maybe he doesnt wanna see me for some reason. but he still wants me to take it...actually i'm not ready to see him yet.

anyways GOOD LUCK WITH YOU!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 5:41pm
I can see you've been getting your reply from 1 person. This is someone else's opinion STOP CALLING HER. You made your feelings known before you left her place, then you called twice and e-mailed her. She only respond once. For the record: Sometimes after many contacts we reply only to be polite. I'm a helpless romantic too but this sounds like borderline stalking. I know that I'm the kind of woman who likes to be chased only when the feeling is mutual. If she feels the same, you won't have to hunt her down she will respond on her own time. You don't know how she feels. SURPRISE!! SHE MIGHT NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DO. If not, you are making a fool of yourself. After a while of you constantly calling and e-mailing you might be doing just the opposite. Give her a chance to reply. It's only good to be persistent if the other party feels the same. KEEP THAT IN MIND Good Luck!

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