Advice Needed - Ex GF's New Guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Advice Needed - Ex GF's New Guy
1
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 3:31pm
My gf of 2+ years dumped me ~2 months ago. We had been having a lot of problems, so it wasn't a shock. We spoke for a few weeks, but then I went NC and have not initiated contact in 1 month.

Well, she started seeing this new guy right away. They've been spending a lot of time together...already met each other's parents etc. During this time, she continued to send emails/talk about how hard it was to break-up, how much I meant to her, but that it just wasn't working right now. However, she made a point to talk about the new guy...not sexually, just that they had done this, or gone out with so-and-so, and that things were going well. It seemed as though she was kind of flaunting him, although not blatantly; mainly, she was telling me about him like a friend would.

Since NC, she has emailed me ~6 times, mainly about light stuff. I have responded, but in non-emotional language. She has not talked about the new guy since NC (although, I assume they are still together).

My question is why would she seemingly go out of her way to talk about him to me? I mean, if I were in her shoes, I would have had more respect for her, and kept it to myself (unless she asked). I guess you could argue either way: either she is trying to make me jealous (which I doubt, since it has been NC for a month and she has not talked about getting back together), or she is really just talking to me like a friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 4:22pm
If its really just light stuff... its likely she's showing you respect for your time together as friends vs. shutting you out completely. To me, not talking to you at all, when you are willing to talk to her as well, show's she thinks of you as a person first and foremost and not just an Ex