advice please...
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| Thu, 10-26-2006 - 9:50pm |
my heart is breaking...ive been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now....with each year it seemed we grew further apart...he calls me a nag and a *****. but all i ever asked him was for him to spend time with me..i work 8-5 and he works 3 days a week 10-4. i come home, cook supper, clean and hes not home...i eat alone...heat his in oven...and im being a nag for saying hes wrong for doing this to me...im always alone..i finally confronted him...told him it was wrong that i lived with him but am always alone..that i cook supper for him but eat alone while he eats after im in bed...his reply ?
"I have no kids..i have no wife...i can do what i want"
me: "but u have me, your girlfriend"
him: "but we wont be together forever"
me:"if you believe that, stop wasting my time and move out"
and he did..was i wrong? i dunno what to think...i know i do love him..im confused so i turn to you for advice

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His answer gave you your answer. It's very sad that after 5 years he thought of you and your home as a place to go rest and as having a person to cook for him. Apparently, he thought about your relationship as something temporary and at his own convenience. He was not respecting you, your time and your home. Were there instances in previous years where he behaved the same way?
I'm sorry, but this man is not reliable material for a loving long term relationship OR marriage.
Sorry to hear about your heart breaking. It's a hard thing to go through. A few things - you will have to greive for the end of the relationship - for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been.
::and he did..was i wrong?
No, you weren't wrong. He may have said something in anger, but it would be up to him to set the record straight. On the other hand, he may have been speaking the truth and if so you needed to hear it, even if you are in pain now.
For furture relationships, consider the book Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Your love language is Quailty Time and you need to be with a person that can speak that language to you.
My best to you!
Carrie
I'm very sorry for what you've gone through, it was tough to read, I can imagine how hard it was to actually sit there and go through it.
At the same time.....
I'd get good and mad about the way he treated you.