After 8 years, is it over?
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|Sat, 04-27-2013 - 1:22am|
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. He's a great guy, unselfish, loyal, trust worthy. But I just don't feel like i'm in love with him anymore. I've been feeling like this for the past few years but I stay with him because I love his family, we live together, we have so many mutual friends, and 8 years is a long time to throw away. But should I continue to be with him just because? When we kiss, I feel nothing. When he holds me, I feel nothing.
Enter new guy. The first time I saw him, it was love at first sight. But I couldn't do anything since i had a boyfriend. We've been hanging out and talking more and he makes me feel alive. His touch just lights me on fire. He says he's not looking for a girlfriend, just a friend's with benefits type of situation (but we'd be exclusive). Being with him makes me realize that that spark does exist. I want that so much. Even with my boyfriend now, our first kiss was nothing like this. This new guy and I haven't even kissed but all it takes is his touch to electrify me. I can only imagine what it'd be like if we kissed.
I want to break up with my boyfriend and have time to my self. I'm not going to go with the new guy either. If anything, it feels like he was the final push to make me realize what I want. And besides the fact that I'm not ready to jump into a relationship after being in one for 8 years, I don't want to be someone's 'sometimes'. I want him to want me the way I feel for him.
My question is, would I be making the right decision to break up with my boyfriend? There are SO many complications if we were to break up. I'd have to force him to live else where, I'd be leaving his family, I'd lose most of our friends (especially if they find out that i've been talking to another guy). And a huge chunk of my life has been with him that I'm scared to know what it would feel like without him. But I don't think I can go on like this.