On again off again 4 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
On again off again 4 years
2
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 7:10pm
Well after a 4 year relationship, we finally broke up, hardest week of my life. Then she contacts me telling me she does not want to give me up and she still loves me. We saw each other friday night for a little bit with the impending passing of her grandfather. I saw her yesterday when her grandfather passed only for a couple of hours and today for about 4 hours. She then tells me that she wants to stay apart because she felt aggitatied of me being with her at her side durning this ordeal. It turned from not seeing each other for a few months to a break for a month or less. Im not sure what to think of this, i dont know what to do or how to come about this. One minute she tells me she loves me the next she tells me she loves me but not IN love with me. I dont know what i have to do to make this work because we both know that everything we enjoy together can be ruined by this. We have done so much and gotten so many things and enjoy so much that its hard being apart, im afraid of being alone and shes afraid of losing the things she loves to do and things she wants to be apart of. Please can someone help me figure out what to say to her so we both feel good around each other and be happy again??
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 7:43pm

It sounds very confusing. Perhaps if you really communicate with each other about exactly what is good and not so good in your relationship; whether your relationship goals are the same; whether each of your needs are being met, etc., you can figure out where to go next. Honest communication is the key. Sometimes books and/or therapy can be helpful.

Time will always help sort things out...try to find other sources of fun, interest, relaxation until you can sort things out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 7:49pm
its just i wanted to start things over again and start acting like a boyfriend and girlfriend, just limiting our time together to dates for a while doing the things we enjoy and seeing if we can make it better again, i want it to work, and she does not want me to be out of her life, i just wanna know what else to do, thank you for the reply, keep em comming