Ahh...
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| Sun, 10-03-2004 - 3:44pm |
I admit that part of the reason is I checked his away message last night (ugh, bad habit I know) and from what I can tell, he and his new girlfriend either broke up or are in a fight. And no, I'm not saying this gives me hope...that I think he's going to come back to me now. I thought about it, and I honestly felt sad for him...because I do care about him, and breakups obviously suck a lot, haha. As jealous as I can get sometimes, I DO want him to be happy. I still want him to know that I care for some reason...why?!
I also checked his away message today (yeah, I'm lame haha) and it said that he's out to dinner with his family (probably for his birthday). That made me smile...because he's had a lot of issues with them in the past, and I always encouraged him to try and get over it and become closer to them...so I was really happy to see that. I guess I wanted to text and comment on that as well...
I still kinda feel as though I'd be making a mistake by contacting him, but I don't know...I want to! I feel like I actually have something to say (happy birthday and that I'm glad he's having dinner with his family)...and I really don't think I am expecting to hear back from him. I mean, I think I'd be alright if I didn't...I've gotten used to being ignored by him, I guess :b
He WAS the last one out of us to try and contact the other person...and as you all know, I have not responded. I know having NC has done wonders for me...but I don't know. I'm not expecting us to become friends just because I send him one text message...I'm not sure he even wants to hear from me. But I'm still thinking of doing it...what do you think?

Thanks for your response. I still haven't contacted the ex, and I think I'm getting past that stage. I really, truly considered it for a moment today...I wanted to send him an early "happy birthday" text message. Then I realized I was just kidding myself and I'd probably feel like crap if he didn't respond...which he most likely wouldn't. I also realized that he doesn't deserve to hear from me, and that it would only set me back in my healing process. I've been so proud of myself for doing NC for 3 weeks now :) and I don't want to be disappointed--in him, or myself. I think I've done enough of that already...
Of course, his birthday is really tomorrow and who knows, the urge to contact him may come up again. But I'm really hoping to remain strong and not give in...I was discussing it with a male friend of mine today, and he was really against the idea of contacting my ex. He said that if I can just get past this birthday, then it'll be a major step forward for me...and that it'll symbolize closure. I think he's probably right (hopefully!), so we'll see. I hope I make the right decision.
I can sympathize with wanting to know what your ex is up to, who he's seeing, etc...but I would be careful if I were you--I only check my ex's away messages occasionally. I'm pretty sure what you're doing (reading other people's mail) is illegal--unless of course, your friend knows that you are reading her mail? I didn't quite understand...but anyways, good luck with your situation. Be strong :)
P.S. Either I was wrong in my assumption when I checked his away message yesterday or they already made up, but it appears that my ex still has that girlfriend of his...::sigh::