All I want to do is call him.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
All I want to do is call him.....
4
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:33am


I am going crazy!!! He just left our place 2 days ago and I feel like I NEED to talk to him...maybe it's because for some reason I think I can convince him to come back? I just find it hard to believe that after 4 years together he's able to walk away and say that he doesn't know if he will be back...

I know that I shoudn't be calling him, but I guess I just want to keep reminding him that I am here for him now during his crisis and whatnot...I guess maybe I'm afraid that if suddenly now that he's not in a relationship his life is a little less stressed and so he'll never come back. But feeling like I have to call him is stupid, right?

I have to get past the sadness and to the anger, I guess...but this hurts so badly, like nothing I could have ever imagined. I'm empty, like there is a hole. How can I get past this??? I am trying to keep myself busy but my mind keeps going back to him and how much I love and miss him...I don't know if I'm going to survive this one!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:44am
Hello,

You need to feel all the pain and frustration in order to accept that this is happening and then begin the healing. It hurts a lot, the emptiness in your stomach is terrible. I have felt it too. It is unbearable.

Please do not call him, I know that you want to hear his voice and make it work again, but the truth is that he is gone. He has decided that it is over and you have to accept it. This is going to take time, talk to people about your feelings, it helps to release the pain. Do not stay in bed, keep your mind busy with something else. In a year from now you will see that your feelings have changed and your perception about that person is different. It is time what you need.

No contact helps a lot.

Iliana

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:17pm
Hi! please don't call!!!....A Very good friend is going through a break-up and thou he does not call the EX she still calls him because she just wants to be "friends". This causes him to be extremely confused and also delays the healing process. Please fill your time with friends and even though I know that it will be hard you will survive and go on to be stronger because of it. Good Luck! Take care. Ellen
Avatar for bensand
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 7:56pm
Hi Jersey Girl,

I really feel for you and I totally understand how you are feeling ! I am going through a break up as well, and it does hurt like hell. My ex and I talked about whether or not we would keep in touch, and we initially agreed that we would wait a couple of months before we talked. But, we have been talking every few days, and we see each other once a week or so. So far, we have just been going with the flow type of thing . I am just going with what feels okay and what feels right - not with what people think I " should " do - but what feels best for me ( and him too .... if I knew it was hurting him , I wouldn't do it ).In our situation, we both agreed that we would take it one day at a time. But if you don't both agree and one doesn't want to talk, then it wouldn't work of course. We have broken up in the past and we didn't talk, and I know how hard that is and how much it hurts. So I feel for you ! I hate to see anyone hurting ..... I hope you are okay. I know you'll make it through !!

Hugs,

Sandra

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 9:29am
Hey,

I totally understand-I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago today (together for 4 years) and it is brutal. I am so emotional and every day I have to struggle not to call. It was a mutual breakup and I am trying to respect both our needs by giving it space and time. I think the worse part is that part of me is secretly wondering if we will get back together-but I am going to allow time to answer that question. It sucks-there is no other way to put it-but it's something you gotta go through and the hardest part is that you have to do it alone. I did call him the first day or so and I feel like if I want to I will because that's what I feel and it doesn't matter what people say. There is no Bible or manual on how exactly you should go through these things...just be honest with yourself and what you need and never settle for anyhting less.

hugs and encouragement,

someday23