ALL SUPPORT WELCOME

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2005
ALL SUPPORT WELCOME
1
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 11:58pm

My "dh" (we have never been married, but we were together for 8 yrs...) and have had tons of problems. We fight about everything. Anyway, we have 2 kids. They adore him. We split about 8 months ago, but just recently he left town. He had been around a lot before he moved, and I think that is my problem.

I was fine knowing I had to raise the kids by myself as long as he was around town. Now, he isn't, and I am freaking out. I started going out with "bad influences", dyed my hair, drinking....

So, he showed up Saturday, and played with the kids here. We talked about his new life, and his new girlfriend, and I pretended I was over him! I told him I had moved on with someone else. I have NO idea why I told him that, I guess I just didn't want to admit I can't move on.

The problem is DH is a dh! He has done more than I care to admit here. He's been abusive, verbally and physically. He's cheated, lied, broken my heart more times than I can count!

As I set here crying, I beg of you all to GIVE ME SUPPORT! I am only 28, and I feel like I am "damged". I am stuck, being a songle parent. Does the hell of doing this myself out-weigh the bs of DH? I'm crumbling!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 7:03am

My friend, you know the answer. You are LUCKY he is GONE. Count your blessings. How can you expose your kids to that kind of man. You cannot let them see the abuse and the craziness. That is why so much of our society is messed up. In my job I saw this nonsense first hand. You did good.

My ex left when my children were 2 and 1. It was hard but my family helped me so much. I had a good job so could pay the bills. I am glad he is not in my life. He was a nice man but did NOTHING to enrich my life. He was good at TV and doing nothing. I wanted more and he left and never came back. It was a blessing. My recent ex as of last week was wonderful to my children but closer to my son's than to mine. They bickered over tv, last food items and what not. That is one less thing to stress about..haa..

Pick up the pieces, start your new life. I hope you find enthusiasm and new opportunities. Take a lot of time to get used to being you ALONE. I think most of us are glad the truth is there is NOT another there. You need to do some inner work to insure you do NOT repeat the patterns and another jerk comes into the lives of your precious children.

If we cannot make change for US, do it for the kids..GOOD WORK.