Alone Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Alone Again
2
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 6:01pm

Hi, this is my first time in here.

My boyfriend of 7 months and I broke up this morning because he continually hurt my feelings and when I confronted him about it he said he didn't love me but really liked me. I feel the same way about him but don't like being unhappy because he's hurting my feelings so much. He said he wanted to love me but doesn't so he didn't know what to do. I got upset and told him that I went from not loving him to not liking him because he's been so hurtful on a consistent basis and that as much as I didn't want to remember him as a jerk - I felt like it was almost impossible to see him in any other light. Anyway, he left and tried to hug me but I just moved away from him because the obligatory break up hug feels so condescending.

Now, I'm sad and keep remembering how crazy he was about me - until I returned the affection. This is so hard and I'm so sad, I just wish I could forget him and all of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
In reply to: akastephanie
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:24pm

Awww sweetie, I feel your pain. Hold your head up though, because you deserve much more! This guy probably has issues with committing or an ex or something that has nothing to do with you. Whatever you do, don't analyze what and how you were, if he couldn't love you for you, than you couldn't have prevented this. Feel proud that you stood up for yourself and expected more from this dork. I too walked away from a guy but I made the mistake of still loving him, and excepting him back for flings for over a year, and he even had other girlfriends. I just now ended that for good, and the dissappointment in myself is the worst, that I let it go on for so long. So unless he makes promises, than keep walking and don't look back. You'll heal with alittle time and meet somebody else who would never hurt your feelings!
Try and stay strong, vent and cry and journal, stay busy and you'll get through this just fine!

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
In reply to: akastephanie
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 6:04pm
Hi, I know how you are feeling. I had a similar guy deal me all sorts of mind games and basically tried to make me feel like I was the problem w/the r'ship, and he even tried to blame my complaints about his behavior on a previous bad r'ship I had w/another man! Further devaluing my complaints! His behavior w/the mind games were borderline abuse I am realizing today, but 5 months ago, I wouldn't have seen it that way...
Just give yourself some time away so you can think clearly and see it in a different light, and believe me, you will. Always go by a guys ACTIONS, not words. Took me a long time to learn this, but it totally makes sense to me now, and when Mr. Right(I'm still waiting for mine) finds you, it IS true he will move mountains to make you happy, and you deserve nothing less!
Good luck!