Am I being foolish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Am I being foolish?
11
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 3:38pm

I'm very confused right now and could use some advice. I've posted on this board before, but I will try and give a very short recap.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 8:37pm
I believe you and your ex should go out for dinner and just talk about whats been going on in each others lives. Maybe this is a way for you guys to communicate face to face! I really think you guys can work it out. It's not easy as at all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 8:56pm

Hi Madsen,


Here's your previous posts for review and for other's to catch up on your story:


Miserable about a breakup


I broke the no contact


Help - How do I get him out of my head?


Should I meet with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 10:03am

Thanks for the comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 10:13am

I just thought of something - perhaps I'm being overly optimistic, but I was wondering if there are any books you would suggest that HE read (assuming he would be willing).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 1:29pm

In this list there are reviews - Recommended Book List

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 7:38am

If it's really that important to him, he'll go to therapy without you, and without you suggesting it or helping him through it. Otherwise, it's a bunch of lip service, stuff that sounds great but has no substance.

Just because he misses you and the interaction between you and his family doesn't mean he wants a family with you. Let that one sink in for a bit.

Two months is a drop in the bucket, literally, in order to be able to honestly and clearly deal with the breakup of a two-year relationship. Your'e still thinking muddy. Give it a couple more months before the haze actually starts to clear, sounds as though your'e back in the denial stage.

Thing about breakups is the healing process is NOT a straight line and neither are the grieving stages. You can hop from anger to acceptance to denial and back again all out of order. You're grieving the death of a relationship, not the death of a person. With a person's death, it's pretty final and so the stages are in line because there's no going back. With a breakup, the person is still walking around so simply because of that there's always a chance to go back, but being that they decided they didn't want you in their life, it doesn't mean it's a good idea. That's sometimes harder to take and sometimes takes longer to get over than even a person's death.

Good luck and no don't suggest getting back together and working on it, let him work on himself if this is really what he wants.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 12:31pm

ive had an eerily similar situation. does he have a long history of serially monogomous relationships?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 11:34am

He dated a woman for 4 years before me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 11:39am
Thanks Sandra - I just responded more completely to the next message, but I appreciate your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 6:28pm

Madsen87,


I wrote you a response to your alias directly; did you get it?


If not, let me know,

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