Am I crazy?!?!? HELP.
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| Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:22am |
Bear with me as this is gonna be a long post, but here I am copy/pasting what I posted over two months ago and then I will explain after what has happened since and etc.:
"Long story short... Off and on for almost seven years. I would not say we have had an easy relationship, met young, etc... but I would say we always have had enormous levels of love for one another. Well, we had decided to move across country together and move in together for the first time. This is supposed to happen in a couple months. Well, I think the stress of that had gotten to both of us and we had not been getting along all that great lately. So, a week ago we had plans to do something. Instead we end up in a phone call with him saying that he thinks we want different things and that things just havent been the same lately, etc. I asked him if he was breakin up with me over the phone and he said he wasnt trying to do that (not a yes or a no). Things got more heated and i hung up on him saying to do whatever he wants. Well... I hear he has told people we are broken up. I am not sure to what extent he is doing this, because in the past he has "advertised" his singledom and this time he hasnt even changed his myspace status to single. I have contacted him and asked him if we are broken up for real this time or if he just needs time to think. No response. He has however communicated with me about a non-relationship issue. But in regards to the relationship i have gotten nothing except for me saying "I would like to talk. Are you open to that idea at all" and he responded with "maybe but not in the immediate future." And nothing else. He hates talking about relationship things, he hates confrontation, and he hates discussing things. Perhaps he feels our conversation should have already answered those questions??? Do i move on? Are we broken up? Why cant he atleast send me a message saying he needs time to think or is over it etc. etc. He knows I have a serious decision to make within the next week as to stay here or move across the country. If anyone has any idea what is going on in his head, PLEASE let me know. I am lost.. "

I'm going to be pretty blunt with you. As Dr. Phil would say, "what are you getting out of this behavior?" You could easily ignored your ex, his new gf, and his new gf's friend, but you chose to engage in behavior that only drags you up and down the emotional rollercoaster. You so do NOT need to get involved in thier lives anymore. You are 2000 miles away now, so this is the best time to start a new life and get them out of yours. I would seriously consider blocking his number, deleted im's, facebook, myspace, and anything else that involves him or his new friends/gf's, etc. You have one foot in that door and one foot in your new life door. Get both feet in the latter and you will start to move on. If he wants to move to cali, do NOT help him. Let him do whatever he needs to do on his own.
I gotta say I agree with mdrsfr. I would also like to add, repeat this part to yourself, over and over as necessary: "The man is not capable of a healthy relationship, he is 2000 miles away from me, he was more-than-likely cheating on me with a girl who is barely out of her teens, he's incapable of true emotional intimacy, has anger issues, is emotionally abusive, I COULD GO ON" then REMEMBER he is NOT your problem anymore unless you decide that is where you want to be.
::Why was he contacting me?