Am I the fool? Part II

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Am I the fool? Part II
1
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 5:24pm

I'm pissed, and of course need some rational words of advice.

If you're reading this and haven't read my first post, you may need to catch up. I am a slightly obsessed gal who just got dumped by a non-boyfriend who I casually saw for six months and who also just bolted when I wanted more. That's the short version. I can't get over this and the main reason is because I know real feelings existed between us. I'm not going to settle by convincing myself it was one sided (my side). I know it sounds like denial, and I can agree it SOUNDS that way. You all are right... he made no commitment to me and was pretty damn clear about his intentions the whole time. However, if feelings exist, they exist. And you KNOW when they do.

So here's the most recent development. When I sent the guy the email telling him how I felt, how I wanted more and how he is not capable of providing that to me (with a few other choice words about how he will be losing the most dynamic and enthusiastic woman he will ever meet), I also removed him from my friends list on myspace. I didn't, however, remove his comments he had left on my message board. What's the point? Those fill up and move along (and you will understand what I'm talking about if you're a myspace member) all of the time. I had no reason to completely erase him from my life. He really did nothing wrong but refuse to commit to me. He never made promises to me.... blah blah blah. I couldn't care less about the damn myspace comments.

So, (still obsessed) I looked at his myspace page today. Myspace is SO BAD for you when you're obsessed or digging for dirt; I figured I might be able to find more out about "Seven Day Woman" if I took a peek. And, to my surprise, I found that he had erased all of my comments! Today! Why?! That made me SO damn angry.

Is it an out-of-sight, out-of-mind deal? Erase her completely and I won't have to deal with it?
Or has he been thinking about me and doesn't want to think anymore (a pretty pie-in-the sky scenario, I agree)?
Is he just angry about the whole situation? Someone demanded he buy the cow and now he's milkless?
Is he embarassed to have my face on there?
Is he (and this is the scenario I'd like to believe, of course) being barraged by inquiries by his friend as to who this hottie is on his myspace page? Ha!

I just think that was a total myspace no-no. Rude and made me feel horrible! Lame.

I'm going on a man strike (and a myspace strike, for that matter)! They're all nuts!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 5:48pm

I'm sure he did have *some* feelings for you...just not strong enough or the right type. I know my fling guy really liked me as a person and enjoyed my company...but for whatever reason, I wasn't "girlfriend" material to him. I can obsess about "why" (and go down the path of wondering what the woman he *did* choose to be his GF has that I don't, which is a thankless, crappy place to be), or I can accept that it just is what it is and move on. I did go through a few days of "why didn't he pick ME to lie to and cheat on????" (I don't think I posted this yesterday but after confessing that he had acquired a GF, he also made it clear he'd be happy to cheat on her with me), but the bottom line is, I'll never know and it does me and my ego no good to wonder

Sooo...you can wonder about "why" he took your comments off his page until you're blue in the face, so to speak ;-), or you can say "huh, I wonder why he did that...but I guess I'll never know, oh well" and stop thinking about it. I recognize that this doesn't happen immediately, but that's what you want to work towards.

And I think you know that continuing to look at his page would be a bad idea, so I wish you strength in not doing so.

Sheri