Am I Going Crazy?
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| Tue, 01-10-2006 - 10:51pm |
My boyfriend and I were together for over 3years and broke up this weekend. We had a very bad argument the day before the break-up, mostly about why I didn't want to move in together and why he kept that fact that he quit his job from me. At the end of the conversation we came to the conclusion that we could either try to work on things or break up. He said that he didn't need to decide; he wanted to try and work things out. I told him that I need time to think things through before making a decision either way. After a long day agonizing over our relationship and what to do, I called him to say that I wanted to end things. "Miraculously" he agreed with my decision, saying he had talked to several of his friends on the issue and felt our relationship was one-sided (in my favor) and that we aren't right for each other. I was glad that he agreed, but in retrospect, I'm now hurt by his response.
Immediately after breaking up I felt relieved. I feel like our relationship had stopped growing a long time ago, so in a way it was good that it ended how it did. I should be happy, right? Well, my problem is that I feel numb. Here I am, having ended a three-year committment to someone that I really loved but I don't feel anything. Then randomly at night I'll burst into uncontrollable tears. Or in the middle of the day I'll feel free-er and happier than I've felt in a long time. I keep having these highs and lows. I'm just worried they won't ever go away. I'm also scared that something is wrong with me.
Has anyone else gone through a similar situation? Does anyone have advice on how to get through this?
Thanks,
Troy

no you are not going crazy. i too have to deal with the horrible highs and lows.
me and my boyfriend broke up in october. and i decided i didnt want to have contact with him to heal, so i haven't had any contact with this guy that i used to see and be with every day.
during the day i'm fine. i'm happy. when i go out at night i'm also fine and happy with my decision to break away from him by initiating NC. but when i don't go out and i stay at home, i most always have an annoying twinge of lonliness and wonder of what he is up to. this is months after we have been broken up, so yes, it is very frusterating, and i'd like to say that it gets better quickly, but it doesn't.
the important thing is we have to go through the ups and downs to grow and learn from the relationship and the breakup. yes, you've been with this man for 3 years and he was undoubtedly a huge part of your life, but you had a life before him too. you'll be fine. the lows suck, i know. sometimes now i want to cry, i feel so miserable, but i can't. its like a throbbing pain in my heart.
but i have noticed they (the low points) are a lot better than when we first broke up, it that makes u feel better. u can get through it-we all are going through it all, and eventually we will be over our ex's and be much stronger women. :) hang in there and try to keep yourself as busy as possible. it eliminates time for those sad times to slip in.