Am I over-analyzing this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Am I over-analyzing this?
1
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 10:35pm

Hi Everyone,

Thanks again for all the input to my previous posts. I'm now accepting that my ex-gf has moved on and while it hurts, I need to focus on my own healing. My question is this. My ex gf and I met through a social dance club and had known each other there and were known to everyone there as a couple. Now that we're split and she hasn't been going lately because as she told me she wants to focus on her new "serious" bf, I'm free to do what I want. I still have feelings for my ex, but all the advice I've received suggests that it's probably a good time to get out and meet new people.

There's a concert coming up that many people from our club will be going to--including possibly my ex-gf. Tickets have been sold out for months. My female ex-colleague wanted to go and bought me 2 tickets and one for herself. I had thought that I would ask my ex-gf but since this situation occurred I have an extra ticket.

My question is this: There is a girl at the club who I've gotten to know socially and with whom I enjoy chatting. We see each other each week for the last month, chat, laugh, dance nothing unusual or serious. But since I have this extra ticket and tickets are scarce would it be appropriate to ask if she'd like to go with me and my female ex-colleague? My ex-colleague is just a very good friend but would this be a nice way to 1) at the very least make a new friend 2) do so in a more casual way? However, our club is a bit gossipy. Also, if she declines would this overture affect our budding friendship? The only reason I'm analyzing this is that asking out someone from the same club I met my ex-gf at feels a bit strange. Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 12:39am
If you make it clear that it's a casual outing, I don't see a problem with it. I think it would be awkward if you made it seem like a date, when you are bringing another friend. By being casual about it, if she said no, I don't think it would be weird later (or gossip-worthy). That is a good way to get to know someone without all the pretenses of a date. I hate dates, personally.