Am i overreacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Am i overreacting?
4
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:35am

Last night my boyfriend and i got into a fight and i completely blew up because for some reason it made me really mad and made me jealous. Since he would say i never tell the story in both our favors, i will give you a break down. He met her mom on this online game he plays, they turned out to be friends, i don't know how he is friends with people 25 years older then him..but whatever. Anyways she has a daughter who i KNOW likes him, and i know her mom wants them to be together, i mean she was going to send him down to Virgina, he lives in SLC, to go "hang out." Well he called her last night to "cheer her up" and i guess they talked for 20 minutes or so. What makes me mad is not the fact she's a girl, i have guy friends, it's the fact he has never even met her, she lives in another state, he knows she likes him..even if he denies it, and he knows..because he can't be that stupid, that her mom is rooting for them. Now i don't think i was overreacting, i mean he completely (what i felt) hid it from me, until he mentioned it (which i think was by accident) and when i said..hang on, you called her? he said.."what?" then he said i was freaking out for no reason, ect ect. What would any of you girls do in this situation? Would you mind if your guy was phoning a girl up who lived in another state, whom he has never met before, to "cheer her up?" He also told me he's not interested in her but she does have "great ambition, could have potentional to be pretty if she lost a little weight and had a great personality."

Am i overreacting?

-Arianna.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:51am

Yes, you are.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:00pm

Every person acts and reacts differently. If this is a dealbreaker for you, which only you can decide if it is and then follow through with what is right for you. My personal opinion is, 'he is playing with fire' if he's just being nice to her and already thinks she has "great ambition, could have potentional to be pretty if she lost a little weight and had a great personality" - ok, so he's met her or he's seen a picture of her? He's gotten pretty personally and attached to his online friends, if the mom is willing to pay for him to travel to visit her and her daughter and if he has developed this opinion of her.

Personally, him calling a female he met online - the stuff online affairs are made of - well, to me it's inappropriate. If he KNOWS she likes him, maybe he just likes the attention he's getting from another gal?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 5:34pm
In NO way are you overreacting. I always hate it when people say that someone is "overreacting." Who is anyone to dictate how one should react to anything? But I digress...you weren't being paranoid or anything, you had every right to be concerned; I would definitely be. It sounds as though he is not considering where you stand here, and isn't trying to see where you're coming from. By labeling you with that horrible "o" word he in turn dismisses your feelings, and that's both unfair and disrespectful to you. While it doesn't have to turn into a huge blowout, I think it's worth talking to him about it, maybe taking as calm an approach as possible, to really explain why you feel the way that you do. That way, you're not defensive and he's not mum about his intentions for keeping in touch with this woman. And look on the bright side--what could really ever happen if this woman lives so far away anyway? Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:14pm

Personally, I don't think you're overreacting. This is coming from someone who met her b/f online 7 yrs ago. I lived in NY and he in OH. We just talked online, then e-mail then phone for 2 yrs and never physically met. I really liked him and thought he was sooo funny. finally 2 yrs later I went to visit him and I moved to OH 11 mths later.
Now after 4 yrs we've just recently broken up and I'm devastated but for your info...just b/c they met online doesn't mean they will or won't try to meet someday. I'd be mad if I were you b/c he and I met accidentally in a chat room and looked what happened.
Neither of us planned on hooking up it just happened.