Am I overreacting?
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| Tue, 11-09-2004 - 3:19am |
My boyfriend and I have been dating just over a year. We both are very serious about each other and although we know it will be a few years off in the future, we have lightly spoken about getting married.
I was with a collegue tonight and she was telling me about a guy in our department who she heard had posted a profile on an internet dating site. She was interested so she went looking for it. When she searched for a male in our age category and in our town I was completely blown away when I noticed the second person listed was my boyfriend! There was no mistaking it. I didn't say anythign to her and went back to look at it later. It didn't have his name but I could tell from things he said it was him and it had to be current. He also said in his profile he is eager to recieve replies.
We have (or so I think) never had trust issues in the past nor have we had any serious problems. For a moment I thought about creating a profile for myself and trying to contact him but I knew it could only make things worse and make me feel worse. Also I don't think I would have kept up lying to him.
Even if this is just him being curious I would still be worried. What are reasons he would do this and what should I do about it? I know I am going to confront him but how should I react (I know it depends on how he reacts)?

Well, you could confront him, or you could give him the bennifit of the doubt. I'll tell you what I'd do though. I'd tell my BF "So I'm talking to (fill in collegues name) and she was telling me about this dating website she was on called (fill in website name). She showed me this one guys profile and he sounds just like you. I told her that if this guy is anything as close to you as his profile makes him out to be that she should go for it. (actually wink ;) and playfully add) after all, look how wonderful you turned out. Then maybe we could go on a double date or something."
At least that way, if it IS him he knows you saw it. If it's NOT him, you haven't accused him. If it IS him, it gives the lying bastard a stab of guilt that just may either make him stop or make you see the truth and dump him. If it is NOT him, it lets him feel good knowing that you think he's great enough to recommend someone close to him personality wise.
If you are serious about being with him in your future, you need to nip this problem in the the bud ASAP. It will go on and on, trust me. You should be angry and mad!