Am I rebounding? I am scared
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| Fri, 01-06-2006 - 9:24pm |
I split with my ex in Sept. It was a terrible and rough 2 months but early Dec. the NC concept kicked in for me and I started to heal. It was a lot of work praying, coming here, meditating and spending time with friends and family. In early Dec. I connected with an aquaintance and come to find out he has been wanting to date me a long time and is quite enamored with me. I told him I was healing from a break up and was not ready for a commitment but was interested in casual dating.
Well, it's been 4 weeks and he is absolutely smitten..and as time passes I find I am more attracted and look forward to his calls and text messages. I am trying to take it slow but it's hard. We are not intimate but it's heading that way. Thankfully I am out of town for 3 weeks to have time to think.
Is this a rebound? Any advise..I want to start my new life safe and sound. I want to take it slow but I am not sure how...I am very needy still and vulnerable. But...
Thanks for your feedback.

I think it's good you're heading out of town. Yes, this definitely has the potential to be a rebound. It's just so hard to think and assess a new relationship and partner clearly when one is still hurting and vulnerable from the previous one.
I'm not sure how you can reduce the risk, other than putting things on hold (i.e, not really see each other) for, say, 3-6 months or so (your relationship was like 4 years long, right? So that's why I'm thinking you should take a while).
But sometimes you can decide that the risk is worth it. This may be one of those times. Only you can assess that.
Sheri
Thanks lovey for your honesty. I need to talk to him when I go back in 3 weeks. It's going slow in the intimacy dept. but calling and talking daily is too much..I am starting to look forward to it and think about him too much. Yep, need to get some perspective.
It can be hard to assess whether a guy is a rebound until you're looking backwards, but I would say to think about your motivation for dating the new guy. Since you already know him somewhat, think about whether he has the kind of qualities you would really want in a long term relationsip, how much you truly enjoy your time together, etc. If you think deep down that this has good potential, then I think you should proceed (albeit as slowly as you can). If he is really smitten, it is going to be hard to slow him down. He's been thinking about you for a long time, which is of course very flattering.
Good luck-
Well, I told him again I was nervous and needed to slow down and he seems to have no problem with that..also I am traveling for 3 weeks, go home for 3 and travel again for 3 more so there is a lot of time to breathe.
Thanks all...I rebounded once and it was NOT GOOD.