Am I screwed up forever?
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| Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:03am |
It's been exactly a year since my ex and I broke up. We dated 5 years, and from my previous posts, one could gather that it wasn't the healthiest of relationships. To make matters worse, he just left me out of no where, and I haven't heard from him since!
It's been a year, and I'm still having a difficult time accepting the fact that he isn't going to come crawling back this time. For the past 365 days all I have done is think of ways to make that happen, with no avail. He hasn't called, emailed or anything. It's very frustrating to think that he can just move on like he did...
But, I guess what I want to know is, why haven't I moved on like he has? After a year, why can't I date other guys? I think I forgot how to flirt, much less do other things... I can't even look at another guy and think of being intimate with him! Did this break-up screw me up forever?

sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. There really is not time limit as to how long getting over someone should take and I don't think you are screwed up over this break-up forever. You need to focus on you and do things that you enjoy to do, work on making yourself happy. I believe part of the reason why you are still not over your ex is because you are focusing too much on doing things to make him "beg and come back" instead of focusing on yourself. My advice to you is to get out there do things that make you happy, start with little things but make sure to keep working on yourself, after all you are your #1 priority!!! Good luck :)
Hi there,
No you're not screwed up forever. No matter how long it is going to take, one day you will find someone else. You'll be somewhere in the street, in the mall, in a party and you'll finally see him. You're heart will start beating again and you'll thank God for still being alive.
Until then, hang in there...
The breakup didn't screw you up forever, but you're doing a bang-up job on making yourself bitter and completely unavailable to anyone. How about that.
Have you tried *any* of the sugestions on the How to Get Over Your Breakup post? If you have, do more of them, do different ones and keep doing them, but if you haven't *WHY NOT???*
The reason he's moved on and you haven't is because he's probably actually trying to a little harder than you are, I think. You have been and are still focusing solely on him, instead of completely on you. Getting over someone doesn't "just happen"-- we MAKE it happen.
****It's ALL about where you're putting your energy, and by that, I mean your thoughts.****
Practice Intention: If you intend to get over him, start THINKING it, FEELING it, DOING it. Every single day. If you fall off, do it again with even more intention. If one of these is off, guess what?
Control your thoughts: Whatever you think about, expands, becomes bigger, more important, maybe even overwhelming. Now ask yourself what have you been doing TO YOURSELF over this past year?
Overcome Ego: Give up that need you have in you to be right. You think he's wrong or will somehow "come to his senses" even now for breaking up with you. If it wasn't making one or both of you happy, then it was probably the right thing to do at the time.
Act As-If: Sometimes a car will jump-start if you roll it in reverse for a bit, same with this idea. Act as if you are already happy and moving on, over and over and over, and pretty soon, you'll start thinking along those lines as well.
Attract the Right People: You can't expect to attract happy, loving and healthy people into your life if you're putting something different out to the world. Sorry, it just works that way. BE whatever it is you're hoping to find, and it will come find YOU.
Raise Your Energy: Every thought you have impacts you. Negatives thoughts, negative impact, Positive thought, positive impact. It IS that simple. Practice it daily, in every situation.
Good luck, and focus on YOU.
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do