am seeing him tonight unavoidable!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
am seeing him tonight unavoidable!
3
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 2:09pm

I need advice on how to handle this! I will run by you the type of breakup I had with this guy first. I was with him for almost five years. Anyway, he moved and it really hurt the relationship. He ended up not really breaking up with me, but letting me figure it out for myself. So it has been a month since I have concluded that it is over. I gave it time for him to call, but he never gave me closure. Earlier this week we have been texting each other and talked on the phone for an hour. It was a very superficial conversation and I wish I would have asked him why he ended things in such a crass way. I have not talked to him since, and wish I never did in the first place.

Tonight... I am going to be attending this thing and he is planning on going to as well. I dont want him back, but I am scared to see him with someone else. I dont know if you guys had any advice on how to compose myself. I am not planning on going out of my way to talk to him, but I dont want to be immature about it. I am so nervous. Help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 7:55pm

He's the one who should be nervous about seeing you. He was the coward who didn't have the courage to break up with you to your face after 5 years. He should be looking for a hole to hide his sorry behind.

You hold your head up and be proud of yourself tonight. You give yourself closure and never look back. This type of guy doesn't deserve a second chance. You'll never get answers from these ttpes of guys, they are jerks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 9:02pm

I agree with lightandbright. You did nothing wrong, why hang your head?

Of course, if only you could reprogram your feelings. (sighs). I completely understand. My ex cheated on me, it was odd that I was the one nervous about facing him when I did nothing wrong.

My advice, I promised myself that I would keep myself together until I got home. I'd given him my heart and 2 years of my life, I would NOT give him my dignity and lose face. If anyone was going to break down first, it sure wasn't going to be me. Anyways to cut a long story short, I ended up writing "I will keep my Sh*t together" on my hand and just reread it all afternoon. I sobbed my heart out when I got home, but heck, he doesn't know that. It gives me pleasure to know how I must have looked that day: cool and confident in my business suit (which I never wore for him) talking to the Stanford prof that refused him an interview. *winks* Make it your night!

Bonne chance!

Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 2:54pm
First off, I got too scared so I never went. I should of and acted like I didnt care. Since we were together for so long we have some of the same friends. One said he didnt bring anyone, but he did meet someone there. Ahh,, when will I get over this jerk. It is so dang hard. He treated me like dirt. So supposedly I am going to get a phone call from him sometime soon saying that he doesnt have feelings for me anymore. That is fine, but I hope I can be strong enough to put him in his place and remind him why things went so sour. I do take accountability for my actions, which were putting up with his crap for so long. I should of been the one walking away years ago, and the fact that I didnt and he gets to hurts. I really did nothing wrong. I am not being pig headed, he was the one that lied and cheated, how else was I supposed to act because of that. I got upset, I threw fits, that simple, I acted accordingly. I am dreading that phone call but need to answer it to get some stuff off of my chest. I am young and I know I will find someone again, but I just hope this is the last time I ever put up with someone so selfish and hard headed. I am scared. Also I have to work tonight, so I wish I didnt know that I was getting this phone call today. Oh man.