Off and on again -i want him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Off and on again -i want him back
11
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:58pm
Hi all. I'd like some advice on my situation. My ex left about 2 days ago. We have been dating for a little over 3 yrs. For the first 2 years we lived in city A together. I'd say in the span of those 2 years he broke up with me 5 times for about a week and went to his mom's. But he never took all his stuff from our house. He would just take a bunch of clothes and leave. And every time he'd leave. I really thought it was over. But I'd txt him and call and email him begging to come back. After a few days of that he'd always come back. Then we moved to city B, about 2 hours from city A and his mom's house. When we first moved here he did the usual breakup and go to his moms. But he hadnt had a job here yet, so it was easy for him to just leave. And this time he had to drive 2 hrs to get there. He didnt take all his stuff either. Now lets fast forward to 2 days ago. We fought, he took EVERYTHING he owns from the house and went back to city A to stay at his moms. But this time he had to quit the job he had here. This makes things seem really final to me. I dont know what to think. Do you think he'll be back since it is his MO to take off for awhile. We have been best friends for about 10 years and I'm sure absolutely love each other. He gets mad and very impulsive. I want him back. Should I just leave him alone and not call or do the usual beg and plead for him back.


Edited 1/3/2008 3:40 pm ET by marcie1617

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 3:32pm

Hi Marcie1617


I personally think that you should just give him some time alone. Usually when people have time to think, they reminisce about alot of things, and sometimes that including the one that they once loved, or still love. And if he doesn't come back, possibly consider this a good thing, I k now that you must be tired of the constant breaking up, and him moving in and out.


Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 5:35pm

I don't think anyone here will ever tell you to beg and plead for anyone to come back into your life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2008
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 5:47pm
i'm going through the same thing and it's torture for me. My guy has done it to me three times and each time i feel like i'm getting over him i let him back in to only hear the same promise of he sticking through our hard times.It's something i can't even talk about with my friends or family because they've already gotten tired of hearing the same sob story from me. i just can't imagine how a guy can go on about his day just because he can't make up his mind. You may give him his time but meanwhile you're trying to pick up your own broken pieces and it's not fair!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 6:29pm

Well said Sandra!! That post is def a keeper!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 7:00pm

Marcie


First I wanted to say thank you for replying to my post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 11:28pm
I know you all are right. I wont contact him at all this weekend. I came to my parents house because I think being with family will help. I also think the distraction will keep me from going crazy alone and texting him. Being at the home we shared for so long is hard. Everything in the house reminds me of him. I don't know why I want him back. Oh yeah, I guess I love the torture. Who knows. All my friends tell me to just let it be for a little while and who knows, maybe I wont want him back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 2:54am

Hi Sandra,


I don't post a lot on this board, but when I read this advice you just gave I just had to say you are awesome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 4:47am
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 11:35pm
I was supposed to go to my ex's cousin's wedding tonight, but since we broke up... yeah, I guess its obvious I didn't go with him. I just hope that he was there at the ceremony and feeling very sentimental, depressed and regretful for leaving a few days ago. I hope he realizes what he lost and what he'll never find in another girl again. Sorry, maybe I'm at the ANGER stage of grieving. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:58pm
well all. i broke NC. i found out that my ex didnt quit his job when he left a week ago. he just used all his time off to go back to our hometown and i think that tomorrow is his last day off. so i sent him an email out of desperation due to the time crunch i feel now. grrrr.

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