And I was doing so good

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
And I was doing so good
6
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:26pm

I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm on my period right now, but I miss him. I haven't heard from him in 5 days, and we don't really talk much these days and when we do, they are short conversations about nothing much, and part of me wonders if maybe we only talked so much before because of the situation, and I know I shouldn't think that because I don't think that's true, and I know that he's got a lot going on now and he's been spending time with his friends, which is great, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm sad that we aren't hanging out right now. I'm trying to keep myself busy and I've been doing a good job of it, but I miss hanging out with him and acting silly and doing stupid crap and I can't help but wonder if things will get back to normal. I think part of it is because when he was gone out of town before, I would get phone calls, both drunk and sober, and I didn't get a single call or text this weekend and I just feel like I'm forgotten about.

Yes, it's only been 3 weeks since everything happened, but today is just really hard for some reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 8:31pm

I know it sounds probably impossible at the moment, but do yourself a favor and cut off contact with him for now. Not forever, just for now. Don't do it meanly or badly, just do it.

Things will go back "to normal" quicker that way, believe that. Unless the boy was touched in the head he hasn't forgotten this quickly, give yourself more credit than that, but everyone needs and has a right to go to their respective corners and lick their wounds. That's how I thought of it when my ex and I broke up and it helped.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:13pm

I've been doing good with not contacting him, as hard as it's been, I haven't, and there's just the sad little girl part of me that wonders why he's not contacting me, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the reply :) I'm so glad I found this board.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 11:46pm
I feel your pain. I was broken up with on Sunday, somewhat out of the blue and left with a 4 month old chihuahua. He lives across the street and we haven't spoken in 6 days. I have tried to call and text him.. the only thing i've gotten back is a facebook message. Today was the first day i didnt call or text.. then about 5 minutes ago i broke down. I saw the facebook message and tried to call him.. ugh... I thought I could be stronger. See Rebainmi some days are harder than others...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 11:52pm
WOW. k so as i reread my post I realized what an idiot i am. I almost got through the day without trying to contact him and i failed.. i need to NOT NOT NOT talk to him.. or attempt to for that matter.... :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 9:14am
Well, I am going on month 2 of not seeing my ex-boyfriend. Its weird just thinking about it. I am almost back to normal... I miss him occasionally. This missing feeling usually comes after I talk to him. Yes, he still talks to me everyday. I took a month break from him and had to force him NOT to contact me. Blocked him, etc. He wouldn't stop. Finally I was able to talk to him again once I realized I didn't want the relationship, etc. I just miss the companionship in general. He was a big part of my social life on the weekends. He lived an hour away and I would be there every weekend. There are a few things I realized about guys as I was going through the break-up. "Out of sight, out of mind" is not just a phrase. He said he missed me like crazy, but he liked being single. Doesn't make any sense right? He thought about me, but when he was out with his friends, etc... he was thinking more about the fun he was having. I, on the otherhand, would go out with my friends and think about him the entire night. I guarantee he hasn't forgotten about you. He actually probably thinks of you alot, but he is distracting himself. Right now, he is re-establishing his singledom. He is going out a lot with his friends, etc... When guys get distracted by other things, it doesn't really cross their minds. Now, this is not an absolute... some guys are different. Why is it that guys seem to move on faster than girls? They are wired differently. They move on fairly quickly and leave us in their wake. We end up not understanding how they can do this. I honestly wish I could do the same thing ;). I always contemplate how they can do this. I think, in a sense, they are forced to. They can't sit and cry to their friends or eat a whole tub of Haagan Daaz. They can't sob for hours on the couch and call everyone they know just so they don't call you. So they find the quickest possible way to move on... which is usually no contact and distance. Time is the ultimate healer right? Continue to keep yourself busy. Also take this time to think about what you want out of the relationship. Do you want it? Do you want things back to normal? When A and I went on our break, I wrote a list of everything bad about the relationship. I started thinking about the problems and issues we had... It was funny. I never realized we had these issues until the relationship was on the rocks. Before... the relationship was "perfect". Take this time for yourself. Think about what you want of the relationship and is it best for you. Some days will be harder than others. But it does get easier. You just have to have the inherent need to want to get back to normal. I would force myself to do things when I was sad. Go to the humane society, read "its called a break-up because its broken" (its hilarious!), I would go running (endorphins!), talk to friends I havent seen for awhile and make it a point not to mention the relationship and sometimes I would just do nothing. I also focus on all the good things in my life EVERYDAY. Im going to be an aunt soon and applying to medical school! So KNOW that you aren't forgotten, but don't wait around either. I was kept on a string for three weeks before I decided I couldnt take it anymore. Its a horrible, horrible feeling to have... being in limbo all the time... wondering if things will change. I ended up making a clean cut and took a month of no contact. It was the hardest/best thing I ever had to do, because I wanted so badly for things to work out. But I did it because it was best for me. So start to think about whats best for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 2:51pm

Across the street?? Man, that's gotta be rough :(

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