The Anger has Erupted !

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
The Anger has Erupted !
11
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 6:28am

Update:


The anger has finally started to erupt.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 8:18am

Hey, Deb! It sounds like you are making some progress! Great job!

I think your conflict is very normal. Your relationship with your ex, just as it was not all good (as that part of us that wants to get back together come hell or high water wants us to believe), it was not all bad. You're beginning to really allow yourself to see and feel the stuff that didn't feel so great to you. I know for me, that stage is essential for helping me break the spell of craving the relationship and helping me move on. It also helps me, in the long run (often waaay down the line) in a more balanced way that sees clearly what worked for me and what didn't, what I really liked about him, and what I don't miss.

BUT, right now you're just MAD!!! Yeah! I'm so glad to hear you are no longer bottling up your emotions.

I think it's normal to want to express those feelings to him, but I encourage you not to. Write the unsent letter and burn it. Rant and rage to a non-mutual friend who will not relay any of the information back to him. Write it out here.

In my experiences, I have a couple of times expressed my anger/hurt to my ex. The best case scenario would be that I would feel a few seconds of righteous power-pleasure before it all crumbled and I realized I had to start NC over. Worst cases involved hurtful arguments or even a feeling of disempowerment. And then I had to start NC over again all riled up!

The person who hurt you cannot take your hurt away. The person who hurt you cannot help you in any way. Feel your feelings, but don't contact him!!!

Hang in there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 12:31pm

Hi Deb,


I gotta second Claudia's advice - Don't do it. Resist the urge to dump on him..... it won't be pretty if you do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 12:52pm

Thanks Claudia and Carrie....I realized a little while ago that contacting him isnt what I want, because I know its only gonna hurt me more in the end.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 1:00pm
LOL - count me out. I wouldn't want that back.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 1:10pm

Im sure you wouldnt! LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 2:39pm

Ohhh wait - cancel my last post!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 5:02pm

Well I read your other post first, and then I was sure you didnt see this one ! LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 5:13pm

Claudia,


I think Ill keep ahold of this anger for a while,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 6:28am

Ok this is tough....but I slipped last night! I had 3 days of no contact in and I emailed him.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:03am
You can do it!

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