Angry & Hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Angry & Hurt
3
Sat, 11-27-2010 - 3:53pm

I just broke up with my live in boyfriend of nearly 7 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sat, 11-27-2010 - 4:37pm

So let me get this straight - he doesn't want to inconvenience his friends?

If he's so stupid as to say these hurtful things to you, tell you that his heart has not been in this relationship for two years, and that he will do whatever he wants to do without caring about how it makes you feel, then you have the full right to kick him out!

He's basically told you it's over, and you sound less heartbroken, more like your pride has been trampled and you are hurt because this means the last two years of your life you lived under a false impression that all was well.

He doesn't sound like a good person, to be honest. He's emotionally gone from you, and he's continuing to take advantage - by ending the relationship emotionally, but insisting he won't leave.

You said the house is yours - does he have his name on anything? If the house is not in anyway his (other than him and his stuff occupying space), then I say it's time for him to go. He hasn't taken your feelings into concern whatsoever - his apologies seem insincere, like he's only doing it so he can still live there.

Since he's decided this relationship is no longer his problem - well, his living situation isn't your problem either. Tell him he's out, that he will have to figure it out on his own (since he's a big boy who wants to call his own shots), but that you are not willing to have a live-in exboyfriend who doesn't give a damn about you. You've invested enough over the last 7 years, you shouldn't have to put up with him refusing to leave your home.

You seem like a strong, together woman, and I'm sure inside of you, you have the strength to do this. He's acting like a bully calling you names, mistreating you, taking advantage.... and then saying he's sorry, like slapping on a bandage, will make everything ok.

Well, you don't have to put up with it. You aren't a loser, and you should show him you aren't having any of this. If he refuses to go, change the locks, and while he's at work, take all his stuff and leave it on the curb.

If you don't want to go to these extremes, then at least stand up to him by telling him that his behavior is unacceptable, and that the word "sorry" won't work, and that he can sleep in the guestroom or on the couch while he looks for another place.

But please, please, please don't cater to this @ss - he doesn't deserve it! You want to do something for yourself to make you feel better? Don't take anymore of this! Take control! Don't give him the power to steer this situation in the way that's easiest for him!

Go get a new haircut, make over, hott new dress and heels, and get out with friends and flirt with guys and try to move on from him, because while

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Sat, 11-27-2010 - 5:03pm

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 1:28am
You're welcome! :)
I'm glad he's not determined to continue haunting the place, and is going to give you the space you need to heal and move on. You deserve to be happy - embrace your life :)
Best wishes <3