Another element
Find a Conversation
Another element
| Sun, 10-09-2005 - 5:32pm |
Every time I turn around something reminds me of him....every little thing.
We always watched the show *House* together on Tuesday nights. When we broke up before I couldn't even watch it again. But this time, I will watch it no matter how much I think of him. It's the only show I enjoy on tv. Eventually, hopefully, it won't remind me of him anymore.
My route to work had to be changed last time because it was also the way to his house.
Music, I won't be able to listen to music for a long time. Even though we didn't listen to it together much, it's too emotional for me.
There are tons of little subtle things that remind me of him, too....it's just so hard.

Pages
Hi Kerstynclare,
I feel your pain 100 PERCENT. My ex and I have been broken up for a month and a half, and whenever a certain song or band comes on the car radio, I practically cause a car accident trying to reach down and change the station as soon as I can to avoid the prickling of tears. I can't watch certain tv shows because we watched them together, had private jokes about them, etc.
Everything reminds me of him, and it's like hell. I am still in the process of moving on.
But its wonderful that you have decided to watch the show, NO MATTER WHAT. Yay!
Eventually the songs, shows, etc. won't affect me anymore, but it will take time.
Know that other people are going through the exact same thing, and it's not crazy or irrational. Just knowing this has helped me. I hope it helps you too. :)
Try to stay strong. Try to only spend a 1/2 hour a day thinking about your ex. The rest of the time stay busy. Go for walks, join a club, hang out with friends or family. You are not going to be over him overnight but don't let it consume you.
I wanted to tell you to read the article that was posted by dancer83. OMG! it was so enlightening, I had to print it because I am going to refer back to it everytime I get really upset or I think I want to contact my ex. I think you will gain much from reading it. Incidentally, I know what you mean about the reminders. I bought a house 1 mile from where my ex's house is. I drive past him at least three times a week. I can leave the house at different times to different things and BOOM we drive right past each other. He always waves and I hate waving back because it implies that I am okay with everything and I am happy, but I hate not to wave because I don't want to look like I am mad. Which is what he accused me of while we were dating...always being mad. I too drive the exact same route to work and it makes it so much harder to get over someone when you are seeing them all the time.
Hang in there...you can do this just like the rest of us here are going to do it, because we don't have a choice. Remember that we take a chance everytime we get into a relationship, it can only go one of two ways we could either get hurt or be happy. So in some ways we made choices to embark in a relationship and we will make that choice again because we are creatures that derive pleasure from being loved.
Don't be so hard on yourself...I understand the music thing. I love music, I listen to it in the car at high decibals and it makes me happy but I can tell you I have barely listened to the radio since my ex and I broke up. I would rather not run the risk of some song coming on that ruins a day that was turning out to be half way decent. Don't listen to music. Now I find that there are days when I want to listen to music and I feel strong enough no matter what sad song comes on. Some songs are actually empowering but the odds that you will hear one during a very down time is unlikely. Inevitably when we feel the worst all the radio has to play is sad love songs.
java
Gosh.. I am the same way
Everything in the world reminds me of my ex, I just posted a comment under "Still mending" that said that.. I hate the radio. I hate tv shoes. Even certain food & drinks make me sad... I know it'll get easier with time..
I agree, def read the article that someone posted.. I too printed it out because it made me feel a little better.
Hang in there, we'll get through this sooner or later.. It's just nice knowing there are other people out there (unfortunately) understanding how hard this all is..
best of luck & if you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel free to contact me!
Wow your situation is so much like mine. My ex starts getting mad and upset and he turns it all on me. I could be sitting on the other end of the phone totally calm and he will be yelling on the other end and somehow manage to make it my fault or that I started it. Then in his mind he justifies why we aren't together to beging with.
I have to be honest since you were honest, I would take my ex back to. I mean that is what this is all about...my phone calls, my emails, etc. I'm not sending them out to make myself feel better, I am doing it to keep my memory fresh in his mind. It is crazy that we can't have more pride in ourselves and more self esteem, because really if someone is going to treat us that way we shouldn't want anything to do with them. I think part of it is holding on to who that person was but we have to remind ourselves that they are not that person anymore. I don't know about you but I don't recognize my ex. He has done a complete 180! He isn't who I fell in love with so I keep asking myself why in the hell would I want him back. I know a lot of it is rejection. As human beings we don't deal well with it and we tend to lose our self esteem because of it. I try to tell myself "it is not me losing him, but HIM losing ME!" I know I made my mistakes, I know I am not perfect but I also know that I am good person who tries to live by morals and values. That has to count for something. I can only hope that he falls for someone and they give him the same treatment he is giving me. I know that sounds bad and it really isn't nice but there is no reason why he has to be so mean to me and sometimes I think people need a taste of their own medicine before they figure out what they are doing.
qesuoia....excellent post. Two people loving one and no one loving the other.....very true.
I think it may benefit you from reading "Women Who Love Too Much"...I read it quite awhile ago and need to read it again.
Pages