Another Failed Relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Another Failed Relationship
8
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 9:06am

Last weekend my ex boyfriend of 5 months dumped me over the phone. I really thought he was the one this time as I've been through so many failed relationships. Only one other ex boyfriend has come close to the way I feel about my current ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 11:29am
Consider yourself lucky that this occured now. Think of the poor woman he's going to marry - she's going to have to sign over a waver that states that says they won't make any important decisions without out first asking mommy's permission. She's going to pick the house they live in, whether the wife will work or be a stay-at-home, what the names of the children will be, if during labor she will be allowed to get the epidural... It's really kind of horrifying.

I'd write a "thank you" email or note to him and the family, thanking them for sparing you the incredible pain of being surrounded by control freaks, social terrorists, and momma's boys. And I would let the ex know that he has demonstrated to you the greatest dating lesson - that you should never settle for anything less that a REAL man, who truly values you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 6:47pm

Hardtimesnow, you've just dodged a bullet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Fri, 07-08-2011 - 5:13am

He was the one man who treated me right, wasn't a drunk or touched drugs, no criminal record, has a family & ok childhood & this was all new to me. Fair enough I'll agree I hadn't been that happy with him for about a month but that is because I was fighting for his attention against his family. If he wants a girlfriend his got to make time for her. I said to him a few weeks ago how would you feel if when you was at my parents house (where I live) as we both live with our folks, we stayed downstairs with my mum the whole weekend & he said it doesn't bother me because it's showing I take an interest in your family & want to spend time with them. He just doesn't understand where I'm coming from on this subject. Just so it's clear his sister has a husband & teenagers but the poor husband works non stop well he can't get a look in with his wife as she's always at her parents house wanting to see the family!

I can't deny I miss him but because he blames me for all this I am angry & hurt. All I wanted was abit of time alone with my boyfriend was that too much to ask for? One time his mother said to my mum ''She (thats Me) is mine'' & my mum thought that was pretty weird do they go around collecting additional members to their family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 07-08-2011 - 7:32pm

Hardtimes, this guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Sun, 07-10-2011 - 2:53pm

My ex has signed up on the same dating site as myself & he is displaying photographs of him & I together. Well if he wants a woman it's not adviseable to display pictures of you & your ex together lol!

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 2:16pm

Girlfriend,

Two things:

1)Thank your lucky stars you are no longer involved with a BOY and a MAMA's BOY at that.

2)Stop "looking for love" and start taking care of yourself.

The best thing you could do for yourself is to STOP DATING ANYONE for the next 12 months. Yup, that's right. A year.

You need to figure out who YOU are. Not how you fit into someone else's life. You need to ask yourself, 'Why do I need to be coupled to be whole?"

Do you have hobbies, dreams, interests other than finding a new boyfriend? Whatever those are put your full attention on them. Make friends of the same sex. Go do the things that bring you joy or help you grow or challenge you. Learn to knit, canoe, mountain climb, sail, skydive, read a new book, volunteer for a cause, take up exercise, learn to cook, go back to school.

And forget about Mama's Boy. If he has to ask mother for permission to date anyone, he's far better off to stay home with mama. Good luck to any other woman he dates and heaven help the woman he marries!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 7:03pm

Thanks for all the replies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 12:39pm

Having no addictions, abuse or a criminal record is pretty much the minimum you should be able to expect from a man. That's like saying, hey, at least my boyfriend had human DNA this time! He was an improvement for you - That's great! But, that doesn't mean he's the person you will end up with. He's still broken. You say he had an "ok childhood" but it seems pretty obvious that his childhood hasn't ended.