Another kick to my Ego! Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Another kick to my Ego! Help!
23
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 7:36pm

Just when I thought I had it all figured out...guess who calls????

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:44pm

Welcome to the board pixchan and thanks for participating.....


"you dodged a bullet."


Sue I so agree with pixchan on this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 1:27pm

lady,


don't take it personally (#2 of the four agreements). this is what HE wants, has nothing to do with you. sex is best ever? girlfriend, you rock. don't feel bad, feel good.


he's the one with the issues. he knows you're the goods & he won't step up. he knows he CAN'T AFFORD YOU!


my ex wanted this too. he didn't want to be exclusive, wasn't seeing anyone else, but wanted to leave things open just in case. wanted to downgrade from exclusive to fwb. me? hell no.


good for you for not being a sucker just to keep him around.


keep showing him the door. the closer to his face that it hits, the more he'll see it. ;)


hugz.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 4:13pm

Carrie,


I agree with you 100%..problem is what he said hurt....I dont think he realized saying that would effect me this way...But Im trying to keep my chin up! He broke no contact and Im staying with it! It wasnt talking to him that set me back, it was his words more than anything....he left me feeling like thats all I was good for...just a roll in the hay...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 4:17pm
Oh Sue, turn that around for the positive side of what he's saying. It should be in spite of his confusion, withdraw, hiding, he still wants you sexually because he finds you attractive, sexy and a knockout? Because you are, right?





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 6:08pm

Thanks Carrie! Amazing how putting a positive spin on something can make you feel so different about it! I could take it one further and say....what a shame for him because he wants it but he cant have it anymore!! LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 9:30pm

what a shame for him because he wants it but he cant have it anymore!!


EXACTLY!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 7:11am

You mentioned your ex wanted the same thing....How did you handle it with him?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 8:12am

>He told me that I needed to take a different mature attitude and that theres nothing wrong with two people having
>just sex....its the thing to do and many people do it.
>
>I guess Im weird....or Im looking for something thats not out there...I was looking for love.

You are not "wierd" or immature! Good grief! There isn't anything wrong with two people having sex if that's what they both want, but it is quie possible that eventually one or both of those people will unwittingly develop romantic feelings for the other because sex, and especially orgasming, releases oxytocin, a chemical that promotes pair-bonding and all the things that, in the nature world, come with it (creating a secure, stable environment for a family, for instance).

I have NEVER done FWB with an ex-boyfriend. I /have/ had the opportunity to do so. I am not immature. I made a choice about what felt appropriate to me, and I have never regretted it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 11:40am

well, i was thinking last night about exactly what did happen.


just to clarify, we were dating for like 3 months & then i asked him to be exclusive b/c i didn't want to "share my boys." he agreed, said he wasn't seeing anyone else anyway. i don't think he was. then when he wouldn't spend weekend nights with me (without me asking first, while

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 6:46am

Claudia,


Ive agree