Hi kitty and welcome to the board. Prepare for a butt-whoopin ;) Read my advice to broken_helpwanted because this evildoer stuff applies to your ex also. Ay ay ay!
Ok chica, let's snap YOU back to reality. You are being used. Guess who's doing the using? You are. You're the one wanting to use the worst possible way to try and get a boyfriend back, which is with sex. You are cheapening one of your greatest gifts, why? Don't make yourself cheap that way.
STOP talking to him. And please understand that a man who truly loves you and who truly respects you, won't turn you into his f-buddy after a breakup. And you shouldn't do that to yourself either. Now he's even keeping you his dirty secret, ashamed to be seen speaking to you, he did ignore you at work and talk to you only away from there, right?
Ladies, don't give him your sex when he doesn't want your heart. He'll take whatever you freely offer up to him that is convenient, like your body, but when you offered up your heart, your love, what happened? Yeah, I thought so.
Get strong, stay away from this guy. You deserve better, it's time you started believing that. When you do, you'll wonder how you ever let this mess get this far.
Hi Kitty, sorry your hurting and confused by your recent breakup. I know its hard, im going through same thing but what Ive found is NC is the only way to move forward.
i read somewhere that the #1 way to get back an ex was raising your self esteem. i hear having sex with them didn't even rate on the list. something like 2 people out of 100 responded that sex worked.
so...work on that self-esteem. good for all purposes. i'm working on that too...
Sorry to hear about your situation. I have been through the work breakup and UGH.. does it bite!! Oh and I've also done the sex-with-the-ex thing. Also UGH! So I kinda understand what you're going through. You should give yourself a pat on the back for your restraint so far, not texting/emailing him back. yeah, I agree with the previous posters.. sounds like he is playing games with you and taking care of HIS needs (i.e, anxiety, guilt, whatever), making it SEEM like he's concerned about you. Don't let yourself get sucked into that. Do what is best for you and continue the NC.
As far as Christmas day-- that's a great goal! You may want to cross off the days on a calendar or something and reward yourself halfway through it, for even more motivation. Who knows? Once Christmas hits, you may not even care anymore about contacting him. If so, it might be best to remain NC since you may inadvertently get sucked back into reliving the pain of the breakup. UGH. Think of yourself first before you do anything.. what will help YOU, not him.
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Hi kitty and welcome to the board. Prepare for a butt-whoopin ;) Read my advice to broken_helpwanted because this evildoer stuff applies to your ex also. Ay ay ay!
Ok chica, let's snap YOU back to reality. You are being used. Guess who's doing the using? You are. You're the one wanting to use the worst possible way to try and get a boyfriend back, which is with sex. You are cheapening one of your greatest gifts, why? Don't make yourself cheap that way.
STOP talking to him. And please understand that a man who truly loves you and who truly respects you, won't turn you into his f-buddy after a breakup. And you shouldn't do that to yourself either. Now he's even keeping you his dirty secret, ashamed to be seen speaking to you, he did ignore you at work and talk to you only away from there, right?
Ladies, don't give him your sex when he doesn't want your heart. He'll take whatever you freely offer up to him that is convenient, like your body, but when you offered up your heart, your love, what happened? Yeah, I thought so.
Get strong, stay away from this guy. You deserve better, it's time you started believing that. When you do, you'll wonder how you ever let this mess get this far.
Good luck,
Welcome to the board kitty1129,
Here are your previous posts for others to catch up on your story:
BF gone but surprise party is planned?
Ex left me and I work with him.. :(
" because talking to him hasn't gotten me anywhere with him.
sorry to hear your frustration! :(
i read somewhere that the #1 way to get back an ex was raising your self esteem. i hear having sex with them didn't even rate on the list. something like 2 people out of 100 responded that sex worked.
so...work on that self-esteem. good for all purposes. i'm working on that too...
hugz.
So here is the update...
My ex texted me Tuesday night asking how my trip to DC went.
kitty :( really sorry. if there were a way to give hugs via this board i would. and i'd probably ask for like a 100 right now.
Hi kitty1129,
Ok, this will sound weird, but he's not *doing* anything to you.
Hi Kitty
Sorry to hear about your situation. I have been through the work breakup and UGH.. does it bite!! Oh and I've also done the sex-with-the-ex thing. Also UGH! So I kinda understand what you're going through. You should give yourself a pat on the back for your restraint so far, not texting/emailing him back. yeah, I agree with the previous posters.. sounds like he is playing games with you and taking care of HIS needs (i.e, anxiety, guilt, whatever), making it SEEM like he's concerned about you. Don't let yourself get sucked into that. Do what is best for you and continue the NC.
As far as Christmas day-- that's a great goal! You may want to cross off the days on a calendar or something and reward yourself halfway through it, for even more motivation. Who knows? Once Christmas hits, you may not even care anymore about contacting him. If so, it might be best to remain NC since you may inadvertently get sucked back into reliving the pain of the breakup. UGH. Think of yourself first before you do anything.. what will help YOU, not him.
Good luck!
hey i'm with ya on this!
i'm gonna do NC until my ex's b-day which is Dec 24. at that point i'll call & wish HB.
just so you know you're not alone...get a calendar & start marking of x's. you'll feel successful right away!
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