An answer to why we can't let go
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| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 7:51am |
how come that just when we start feeling good about the whole brak up thing, just when we realize that we idealized the relationship, that we can not control other person's feelings and wishes and decide to let it go we get into this emotional rollercoaster all over again?
I believe that each of these guys are unique...your guy, Robert, Adam, Tom whatever he's called.. his personality, the way he looks at you, the way he drives, the way he talks, smiles even screams when you fight..he is one in a milion and in no other guy have all these attributes, quirks and flaws come together in the same way as they did in your guy. And that's why I think it hurts so much...yea, we will find somebody else, yea, they might love us more, treat us better but this guy, the guy you just lost, never again will somebody exactly like him cross your path.
That's what makes me mad and that is what makes me sad...I lost this person, I lost the energy, i lost the love, emotions, feelings, dreams of future, i even lost the money I invested..and what did I trade them for? Memories? I don't want them damnit!
you know how we use that phrase 'meant to be' to make it easier on ourselves? What is up with that?! If you work on something that's when it becomes 'meant to be' ... this guy, this was the 'meant to be' one for me, cause all I wanted to do was love him unconditionally.
Edited 7/26/2004 2:14 am ET ET by nikolina_p
Edited 7/26/2004 2:15 am ET ET by nikolina_p

I know we write on this board and try to convince ourselves what shmucks our exes were. We ask ourselves -- Would I really have wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone with these shortcomings? -- But I had to admit to myself that the answer was YES. Whatever shortcomings, hangups, flaws, personality defects my ex may have had, the truth is that his good qualities far exceeded his shortcomings and I would have gladly dealt with them -- Just as I hope someone would love me enough to deal with my shortcomings.
So yes -- here we go on the roller-coaster ride of emotions. I have stopped trying to make him out as some bad guy and will concentrate on healing myself.
And as you said, we try to think of the bad things, memories we would like to erase but the truth is there are so many good things that outweigh the bad ones.
I don't know..yea, just letting go is the only cure..not thinking about it or at least saying to yourself that it wasnt 'meant to be'. But then, is there such thing as something is not 'meant to be'? Everything you work on can be 'meant to be'
I know I am getting all philosophical here..I just miss him really, thats all there is to it
cause if it doesnt than it is all about us working hard on something if we wanna see it happen..and that is exactly what we are fighting against on these boards..if the faith isnt real and doesnt exist then basically we could stay with our exes if we work hard on it..no faith means no 'meant to be' crap either right? That makes it so much tougher to let go though, doesnt it