Any advice?
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Any advice?
| Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:18am |
I found this message board about a week ago and it has been very helpful. I now have a question, or need some pointers or something...my ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago...feels a lot longer. So far I have been sticking to the NC rule, although its getting to be harder...I feel a lot of unresolved anger. (We have 'broken up' before and I was the one that always initiates the contact). Anyway heres the toughie; we work at the same place. I've been doing good on avoiding so far but we have a meeting tomorrow we all have to attend. It will be the first time I see him and I am dreading it. Its bad enough that every time I pull into the parking lot and see his car, I get the jitters. So what can I do? I am seriously debating missing the meeting altogether. I really don't think I can handle seeing him right now....

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Just wanted to send some support your way- it's a really tough situation to deal with, but you're right in that you may as well get the first meeting in the past. And I definitely agree that you should acknowledge him with a nod, but avoid other conversation if possible.
I have some experience in this area as I had a very brief casual relationship with a coworker - and he and I are in meetings together a lot! One of the tricks I used early on is to pretend I was taking notes, but really kind of writing out my feelings in my notebook, except using the first letter of each word in case anyone was looking. I frequently wrote 'WANRFEO' "We are not right for each other" and 'IAGTBO' "I am going to be OK'. Kind of a code.
This sounds corny, I know, but it kept me distracted during some of the toughest times. Things do get easier, except I wish 5 months later that I still didn't glance over at the coat closet to see if his jacket was still there sometimes.
Good luck!
I had a boyfriend in graduate school.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
just wanted to give you a quick update...after everything I put myself through and looking 'really cute' (he he) all that and he wasn't even there....I literally still have a knot of stress in my stomach...I dont know why I do this to myself...so now I need some support because I have a tremendous urge to go by his office and 'chat'...I know its stupid and I could kick myself..I read somewhere that you should do no contact for 60 days...and its only been 20 days...I can rationalize all the reasons I should NOT go over there and that he doesnt care one way or the other, but it doesnt lessen the urge...HELP!
Ok...what I do when I get urges to contact an ex is to say to myself, "not today". Whatever I decide to do, I can't do it TODAY...I have to at least wait until tomorrow. Usually, the urge passes by the next day, but if it doesn't, I use the same technique. Or sometimes I'll tell myself, I can't contact him TODAY, but if I still want to in a week, I can do so.
I also have a couple friends I can call to talk me out of it...this is why it's important to have a "breakup buddy" or two or three.
Sheri
Yup Sheri, that's exactly what's gotten me through the last two weeks, I'm hoping for at least two more out of that little mantra, "I'm not ready today."
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