Any Advice Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2002
Any Advice Please
3
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 9:02pm
Im going to try to make this brief. I went out with this guy last year twice, he was so nervous on both of our dates I just couldnt take it. This year (he coaches my son in football) He asked me out again. This time it was very different, he finally relaxed! We started dating and by the third date he told me he was falling in love with me. I too was falling for him. We talked every day, it was a fantastic feeling, everything was just so perfect. He had sent me a few emails that were very sweet, he sent them through yahoo, so one day I put him on my buddy list, the next day I was off work and at home he was at work he sent me an instant message. Hello? Who is this? Do I know you? I responded with I hope so, you seeing anyone? Never dreamed that his response would be, Tell me who this is first. I was crushed. I felt like he wanted to make sure this wasnt someone he might want to get to know. I told him who it was and never to call me again. He sent me an email telling me he knew it was me and what a mean trick it was for me to play on him. Long and short of it I didnt hear from him for three weeks untill I broke down and called him. He told me he missed me and he hadnt called because he knew we were meant to be. He called me twice that day and we talked till midnight. He told me he was falling in love with me and wanted me to be around his kids more so that we could become closer. The next day I had to go out of town for a meeting, he had asked me to meet him for lunch but I told him I wouldnt be able to (due to time) He told me to be careful and call him when I got back. When I got back I passed him on the road, he was with his kids on there way to a football game, I thought I wouldnt call him that evening but thought maybe he would call me, he didnt. The next day I called him several times, Kept getting his voice mail. He didnt return my call untill that night, told me he would be home all evening with the kids to call if I wanted, I did, several more times, voice mail. Next day, he never called. So I called him, Voice mail, this time I leave him a message, You say one thing and then you do this? Its been two weeks, I seen him last weekend at a football game but we didnt talk.Why would a man claim to miss me soooo much and tell me that he is falling in love and then do this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 9:09am

It is a strange behaviour. I think he is tasting the water.

There are so many possible reasons to why he hasn't returned your calls. Maybe he lost interest, maybe he found someone else, maybe he is afraid of you, etc. The only way to know is by asking him straight away. One advice I can give you is this: do not believe everything people say to you, sometimes they mean it but sometimes they don't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 8:25pm

Excuse me? You play games with someone and you're wondering WHY they don't want to play with you? He asked you to call him, you don't,expecting him to call you, even though he specifically asked you to call him. In addition you obviously realised what you did was immature, so you overcompensate by incessantly calling the next couple of days, leaving a message only once. And then wonder why he wants nothing to do with you?

Not only that-you completely overreact to his questioning an IM from you that you never even told him about in the first place? Seriously? What would you do if some stranger IM'd you and started asking you personal questions? I would react the same way as this guy, I would ask--who is this? Not an unusual question, and certainly not a question that warrants your over-reaction.

Until you get you drama tendencies under control, you need to take a break from dating. I am sorry for being harsh, but you need to hear how your actions can cause a reaction-basic physics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2002
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 9:31am

The reason I didnt call him that night was because I knew he was on his way to a football game, have you ever tried to hold a conversation while at a football game. Secondly, my screen name has my name in it! Your response was completely out of line and obviously not thought through. By the way Im 40 years old.

your actions can cause a reaction-basic physics. ????????? LOL