any answers? still depressed
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any answers? still depressed
| Fri, 10-05-2007 - 11:24am |
like i said i told my bf that my preg test was negative he called me up. we talked about it for a bit but he was at work so he said that he will call me when he got home he still hasnt called me yet . i sneaked and called him he had jus left home :-( i was so upset. he keeps saying he's gonna call & doesn't i think that he's finding all kind of other things to do besides pick up the phone & call me. i;m thinking he wants to break up with me because of this whole thing i dont know what to do right now.i dont wanna chase him but i love him so much. i might have to wait a whole next wek to hear from him & i dont wanna keep texting him either. :-(

I am so confused. How many boyfriends and exs do you have floating around? If it's just one, there's only one answer.
He doesn't want to be with you. Period. He has a girlfriend, he's broken up with you. He has NO obligation to return your calls. You are not together. It seems like you're stuck on this point and unfortunately the longer you linger here in denial, the less likely you are to move on.
When a guy breaks up with you and gets a new girlfriend, that's some pretty heavy evidence that you and him are over. And he isn't THINKING of breaking up with you, he HAS broken up with you. Which unfortunately also means you should probably be handling your pregnancy scare with friends rather than him UNLESS it comes out positive.
The answer you need and possibly don't want to hear, is to leave him alone to marinate in his own life.
So how long ago did he dump the other girl and get back together with you?
Cuteness_17, He's IGNORING you, telling you what you want to hear (I'll call you) just to get you off his back.
I'm going to be harsh with you because you seem to need something to snap you back to reality and out of this self-inflicted doubting zone in your head.
That said, he really doesn't want to hear from you at all hours. He really doesn't want to call you at all hours. Just because he's at home or not working doesn't mean his time needs to be spent either calling you or being with you. It seems that he never even gets a chance to call you before you've already picked up the phone and dialed a few times, and that is so completely invasive, I can't even begin to describe it.
Even as a boyfriend, he's absolutely not obligated to be at your beck and call either on the phone or in person, do you understand this? Because it seems from your posts as though he has to jump through particular hoops in order for you to be happy. You are smothering him, you've gone through a pregnancy scare and while I can understand your feelings are very hurt because he didn't react well to that, exactly how well is he (or you, for that matter) supposed to react at your age to an unplanned pregnancy?
You have got to stop torturing yourself by making him the center of your universe, no one wants or warrants that treatment. We're telling you what to do: Stop Calling him, Stop Expecting him to call, you're hurting yourself by focusing all your energy on him and whatever he's up to. This isn't love, this is unhealthy.
If you have to wait a whole week for him to call, and he really doesn't have a whole lot else going on, WHAT does that tell you? IS this the type of behavior you want in a boyfriend? My guess is no. If this isn't how you want a relationship you are in to be like, then don't continue participating or feeding into that relationship. Being a long-suffering girlfriend isn't something anyone should aspire to be.
And yes, here comes the you're-so-young part: At 18, no one could have told me I didn't know exactly what I was doing, they were so wrong. From this side of 30 looking back, I can't believe how naive and inexperienced I was about everything. This guy, this child-love, is NOT your life, NOT your everything, NOT your definition of you-- YOU ARE. Start focusing on the person who really matters: YOU.
Good luck,