Anybody have the same worries?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Anybody have the same worries?
11
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 5:15am

Just had a horrible thought, what if I've let go a great, trustworthy guy and there won't be anyone else like that out there. I've been lucky so far that I've never been cheated on but I'm terrified that I've thrown away a good relationship and that I won't be able to find a decent guy again.

There seem to be a lot of bad guys out there.... :(

Anyone have the same worries?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 7:57am
I think pretty much every girl has had the same worry at one point in time. But there are good, decent, trustworthy guys out there. Just because you let go of one doesnt mean you wont find another great one, or better! There are LOTS of guys out there, probably too many to count, many of them will be indecent, and not worth your time. But the good ones are out there, and if you lose one, then you have to remember that he wont be the last. You just have to remember to always be you, and someone decent and great for you will come along. Probably even better than this "great" guy your talking about now. It can happen. And you are not the first, or the last person to have worries like this. All girls go through it, all girls need that assurance that what they did was right. That they wont always be alone. You are a wonderful person, and as long as you stay strong and wonderful, then decent wonderful guys will find you, and if they are truely decent, and truely trust worthy, then you wont have to let them go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:20am

elliwakey...

A male point of view from Pianoguy:

Men and women DON'T RELINQUISH FRIENDSHIPS unless they feel that particular friendship is unhealthy, or that they'll eventually become miserable if they permit it to continue!

There ARE bad guys out there, but there ARE ALSO "bad girls" too!

Any relationship (including casually dating and or a serious marriage) involves risk! So if you don't feel comfortable taking one.....THEN DON'T!

Stay single instead!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:36pm

Thanks guys.

I know what you are saying pianoguy, but its difficult for things not to get blown out of all proportion and fears to kick in.

Thanks for the reassurance. Hopefully my judgement is good enough to weed out the fools...worked so far I think.

xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 2:43pm

YAP....TELL ME ABOUT IT HA???

i just wish that if someone break up our heart....IT'S VERY EASY TO JUST FORGET ABOUT THEM...TOTALLY....IF WE COULD JUST DELETE THAT PART OF OUR MEMORY OF THEM...I'LL BE GLAD...LOL

GOOD LUCK....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 5:26pm

Hello there:

I often wonder the same thing. I just got dumped by someone who I thought was perfect for me...focused, driven, smart, funny. But it just didn't work out. What scared me about the break-up was wondering if I should've fought harder to make him stay with me, because he seemed like the perfect type. But how perfect for me was he if he dumped me, know what I mean? But what I realized (and maybe you could keep this in mind) is that the one that is perfect for you, the great guy that you want in your life, won't leave you. You won't pass him by, because he'll notice you and want to be in your life, just like you've noticed him. There are a lot of bad guys out there, but they're not bad just because...they come from a history of hardships just like you and I. While that isn't justifiable for them to be crappy boyfriends, it certainly helps in understanding them. Just know that when it's right, it's right. And then your worries will dissapade. Hope that helps a little. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 5:43am

I know you're right. Problem is me and my boyfriend made the mutual decision to split due to recurring issues and I can't help but wonder whether we should work at it. It was only a 6 month relationship so I realise its not as hard as others but we really got on well.

I would love to believe that when you meet the right person you just know because you're on the same page etc. That sounds lovely and I hope it happens for us all.

I like to think of coupes like my mum and dad who are still together and happy after 25 years, that cheers me up. And I thought to myself if I am drawn to men like my dad (as the psychologists say) then I can't go far wrong hopefully lol. Does that sound weird?? Probably!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 7:16pm
That's not weird at all. :) I have heard that we model partners after our parents; it makes sense in a way. Actually, you have a better chance at being optimistic than I do--my parents divorced when I was very young. However, my father has since remarried, and my mother is getting married this year, so I guess that's something to consider. Seeing the success of other relationships can help your own perception, but at the end of the day all you have are your wants and passions, and they differ from couple to couple. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 1:58pm

I think I speak for every woman in the world here...

we all do.

I feel that way now... and I felt that way before... and I think sometimes that I had a man who was SO close to what I thought to be perfect that I couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

But... make that list! Make a list of what you want... what you will and cannot compromise on.

I know this is stupid... but I will NEVER date a man who is a sloppy dresser. EVER. And, I will not date a guy who curses more than I do because it bothers me a lot.

I would LIKE a guy who can cook well... and who LOVES gourmet food. Because I DO.

I would prefer a guy who is bald or partially bald because I LOVE that.

I prefer someone who likes to drive... because I hate to drive.

And... I WILL NOT date a man EVER EVER EVER again who has ZERO experience with kids.

:)

How's that for a start?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 4:06pm

Hmm good idea making a checklist...

I'd like a guy who is sexy, looks after himself, is patient, affectionate and proud to show me off. Honest and trustworthy, and, if it's not too much to ask, will hopefully never make a mistake (which is where the last bf went wrong - how harsh am i)!!. So ultimately superhuman then! :(

Hey, I can dream.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 8:28pm
i have the same worries...i think everyone does, but you should learn to rely on yourself. You don't need a man to be happy. and when you get THAT attitude, you'll find the right guy for you. Just don't get too attached too fast. take ur time;)
good luck...

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