anyone else go through this? advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2010
anyone else go through this? advice please
4
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 12:15am

hello everyone...i've never been in this room before, but a breakup/impending breakup has led me here tonight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2008
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 8:59pm

I am going through a breakup now, though situations are

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 12:05pm

It kills me every time I see someone write this...

....."he told me he didn't want to talk to me until i decided to confess, but theres nothing there for me to confess, but he still doesn't believe me.....

You know, this is how innocent people end up convicted of crimes they've never committed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 12:14pm

Wow, that's a long time to go without trusting one another.

Even a little bit of mistrust in a relationship is disastrous. If you can't trust a person with your whole heart, you really don't trust them at all. It must feel very sad to be a prisoner to one another's doubts and mistrust, and to hold so much over one another's heads. Yes you're probably right that the relationship is on its way out.

How do you let 4 years ago? By just living your life, focusing on things that aren't the relationship, moving yourself forward in friendships, hobbies, interests, fitness, whatever else. It's not like you lose those 4 years of your life just because the relationship ended. You still have the person you are.

I think you should decide first that YOU don't want to be with HIM. It will be empowering. You don't have to be at his mercy... And ask yourself, why do you want to continue this relationship? Is it because 4 years is a big investment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 4:12pm

I think you can see this relationship just isn't going to work.