anyone out there tonight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
anyone out there tonight?
4
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:49pm
Why is this so hard? My bf and I broke up a few nights ago. We were together for nearly 3 years. Although it was mutual (we've been long-distance for a year and it was getting tough), it still hurts SO bad. I'm okay when I'm around other people, but when I'm by myself I can't stop crying. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of not being able to sleep. It seems like everywhere I go and everything I look at sets off a flood of memories. I've never felt so miserable before. Why can't I just forget about him and be happy? When am I ever going to stop crying?

Sorry, I just needed to talk. Thanks for listening.

Nicole

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 11:23am
Nicole,

I'm sorry there was no one here for you last night. I'm usually on late at night but last night I was out with a good friend having fun. The fact that I can have fun only four nights away from a breakup is just amazing to me! You will get there too.

The first few days, and weeks are rough. You were with this person for three years. He was a big part of your life. Give yourself time to mourn and heal. It takes time. You will cry for a while, especially when your alone. Crying can be healing and soothing. The quickest way over the pain is through it. Once you feel the pain completely and realize that it doesn't destroy you then it begins to subside.

Best wishes to you. We are here to help you through this. We're all in the same boat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 1:37pm
You'll stop crying- but it will take some time. I just broke up with my x boyfriend 2 months ago we were together for 8 years. LOTS OF MEMORIES! Atleast your not sitting there asking where 8 years went! Its tough- but now Ive healed within me. You need to cry- its healthy- your letting it all go everytime you do that. Look at it this way- everytime you cry- youre one step closer to happiness. But I strongly advise you to keep your friends close to you- however take some time to yourself and just let it all out. I did the wrong thing- however it made me feel better for the moment. I drank my sorrows away for the first week and then delt with it the next week and its worse the next week when you have YOU to face! After you take the first week "for you" you need to take the second with friends-( unless you still need that time to yourself). But I advise you to go out and do things to get it off your mind!! Otherwise you will hit depression! Its not a good place to be. Later or a couple months down the road- your brain will (crazy but true) reroute its self into looking out for you- you will be so sick of sadness that you wont be going back to those memories as much because you know it will swallow you up. When youre ready- go out and meet new people, sometimes a good guy friend is best to have in times like this because they are almost companions within themselves even though they are just your friends. And sometimes they give the best advice! Hope things work out! Your friend, stacy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 3:48pm
Thank you very much for your replies. I know this is just going to take time. It helps a lot to talk to friends and family, just to keep my mind off of him. The hardest part for me right now is being alone at night. It takes everything I've got not to call him, or even e-mail him. I've been reading other posts and everyone seems to advise against contacting him, so I'm working hard not to.

Again, thanks to both of you for replying.

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 11:39pm
You can talk here as much as you like and we'll try and help!!! I think no contact will help you alot in the long run....it's tough but it helps the healing process. Good luck and keep us posted!!!
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