Anyone out there tonight?

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Anyone out there tonight?
5
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:12pm
I'm working until 10 tonight, and I'm actually sitting here at work waiting for my ex to call me, hoping he may take some pity on me and call to say hi, to say we can try again. Isn't that pathetic? Is anyone out there now? What are you feeling right now? Are we going to survive this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:24pm
Sitting and waiting is the worse, isn't it? I definitely know how you feel...so many times I've waited around, hoping my ex will txt/IM/call me...but I have such mixed emotions when he does. Part of me is so happy that he hasn't forgotten me...but another part wishes he would follow the no-contact rule--because he gives me false hope, and then I always end up feeling miserable and disappointed. Right now I'm feeling pretty calm, surprisingly...then again, he did just contact me on Sunday. I feel so horrible when he doesn't try to contact me for a long period of time...but deep down, I know it'd be for the best. I'm sure we can survive this...I just don't know how long it will take. When will I stop hoping?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:47pm
It's all such a game...I hate it. I don't know what to do about being friends with thex. But, I totally understand. Good luck, sweetie.=)
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:50pm
When did you break up? How long were you together? Why did you break up? Why aren't you doing no contact?

Hugs, Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 9:10pm
We broke up over 4 months ago :( we were only together for about 7, but he's been in my life for a couple of years. We broke up because of a lot of issues--distance, lies, cheating...if you want to read the whole story, see my other post ("I need advice on getting over the ex"). I don't know why we're not doing the no-contact thing...probably because I'm still not ready to let him out of my life, even though I know it'd be for the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 6:27pm
Hi Delightful -

I'm curious - you gave me such great advise about telling my ex to not contact me but here you are in contact still with yours.

One thing that I learned - the more that I heard from him and was with him, the more it gave me the information I needed to know it wasn't right and it was time to leave.

For example (after the breakup), although his card was a bit flowery, it said nothing about wanting to try to work on things. His voice mails were full of apologies as to him being "different" from everyone else and I gave him so much love and support and yada yada yada. I came to realize it was all about HIM and his needs and nothing about me. He didn't cherish me, respect me, adore me, admire me, etc. He was in love with my adoration of him. Why in the world would I want to be with someone who didn't or couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved? And, the bottom line, HE WON'T change. He's 38 - how old are you?

You deserve to be loved and cherished - and if after 7 months he has done all this crap you should thank him for making it so much easier for you to move on!

Anyway, I say all this now because at this moment I am standing up for myself.

Good luck but when you finally have had enough you will do something about it and not have to hang on to him to "control" you.

Another thing, it's always great to feel like you have some control. Although my intent was not to hurt the ex, and I was trying to be cognitive of it, I feel good that I told him to not contact me and I would contact him if and when I felt I could be friends.

Love, Curious