Are mornings hardest for anyone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Are mornings hardest for anyone else?
14
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 8:15am

So it's been just about a month. I've tried to keep busy, making plans to visit friends out of town, getting back in touch with friends here and trying to make some new ones (since I pretty much lost all of them when I gave up my own and disappeared into the ex's life).

During the day, work keeps me busy, I joined a gym so that helps after. By bedtime, I'm usually pretty tired, but then WITHOUT FAIL around 3am I wake up and toss for the rest of the night till my alarm goes off. The only time I really think about him is in the mornings when I'm tossing and very accutely aware that he is NOT there, and there is no one wrapping their arms around me. In every minute of my day, I feel pretty OK with everything and like I've made real progress towards moving on. And then come 3am, it all comes back. I don't really cry about it, it's not like it was the first few weeks, but I can't seem to get him out of my head. Has anyone else hit this stage? How long does this one last for?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 8:21am
The mornings are the hardest. I wake up and the craziness starts all over again.
What is he doing and with who? Is he thinking about me. It has been over a month and I am still having panic attacks during the day also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:12am

Lanis,

I am prettymuch the same as you. Mine has been over 2 months (even though I had been contacting him until last Friday) and I still think about him all the time. My hardest times are the morning when I drive to work and afternoons when I drive home from work. I wish I could just force myself to hate him!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 11:02am
He is the last thing I think of when I go to bed, and the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. I haven't been crying as much...but still depressed and sad and anxious and worried about what he's doing, or if today will be the day he asks me to hang out again. When I wake up in the morning, I wish he was next to me. Mornings are hard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 11:13am
I have been going through this for a month, the last week has been totally no contact.
That is the hardest to think that I am never going to hear his voice again.
Why cant we see these selfish guys for who they really are and move on? I am sure they are not moping and crying.
I cant imagine what the next 30 days are going to bring. I have almost completely stopped eating. I will be happy when I can eat a complete meal without wanting to throw up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 12:44pm
Hi,
Yes I know exactly what you are going through. It's only been a week and half for me and it's been so hard. Last week I had to sleep over at a girlfriends house because I couldn't bare to sleep without him. The void was too big. I'm back at home this week and it's been a struggle. I take a mild sleep aid at night to I can fall asleep but everyday this week I have woken up at 5am and that is when it feels the worst. I open my eyes facing his side of the bed and it makes me so sad. We used to cuddle a lot in the morning around the same time and to lay there alone is almost unbearable. He would go to work later than me some days so on those days we would talk while I was finnishing getting dressed or I would go and lay down next to him for a few more minutes. When I walk into the bedroom now all I see is his sid of the bed still made up. Breaks my heart. So I know what you mean. I don't know why it's the morning but I have heard the same from other people too. Hang in there. The void wont last forever!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 12:45pm
I am at the same point you are. If I am not distracted by something else then all I think about is him. It's driving me crazy and I am thinking that I won't ever stop thinking about him! I don't cry anymore and I am slowly starting to eat normal again. There are good and bad days and it's been two months. For me it's usually around 5 A.M. that's when i just wake up and he'd be on my mind and I just toss and turn until it's time to get up to go to work. I have dreams about him everynight too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 1:46pm

They used to be. I think it's because in the morning, our defences are down. For the first two weeks, I kept "it's called a breakup" by my bedside, and read it first thing in the morning. Or play the CD in your car. I find the last story: the one about the 12 year relationship down the drain, especially useful.

Time does heal all wounds, but nobody says you can't give it a little help. I can't offer any advice since it's my ex that has to sleep in his empty bed at night..but A few of the things I would do is rearrange the furniture a bit. Sleep sideways on the bed. Why stare at the lonely side? Change the sheets. Fill the bed with pillows. A good trick I find for eliminating the 'thinking about him every night' is I went and memorized the "after a while" poem. and receited that every night before I slept. You can't be thinking about him when you're occupied with remembering the next line.

On a more amusing note. perhaps we should all get one of these

http://www.engadget.com/2004/09/01/boyfriend-arm-pillow/

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 1:55pm
Ok, that pillow is funny, thanks for sharing.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 2:12pm
I have dreams most night too. Usually it involves us getting back together and being happy again. When I wake up and realize it's not true I start to cry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 4:41pm
I am going thru that now...over a bf I had years ago. It's all come up again, just like we are breaking up again. Every morning, around 2 or 3 AM, I am wide awake reminded of my pain. It's been horrible. I can't get away with it.
I don't know how long it will last. With me, it went away for a long time and now it's back. Nothing stays forever. Maybe as long as our heart needs to heal.
Soliel

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